1. i foolishly abstained from gin on Wednesday – actually from all booze – but gin, i now realise, was the only thing keeping me robust amidst coughing sneezing Germands, for i have been ill since Thursday, mostly just sleeping and thinking. i had several fiction ideas in this time, but didn’t bother writing them down, because i’ve now grown so dispirited about my oddly sporadic stop-start imagination – i have notebooks full of what i think are good premises for tales, which i am unable to develop; that is, when i try they quickly become formulaic, merely repeating tropes from extant works. It could be that my imagination only works in spotlit moments, and utterly fails when i try to join the dots. It’s not that the results, if i wasted hundreds of hours writing them up, would be terrible; rather, mediocre, passable:

i hope my projected next novel – which i haven’t even begun – will be its own beast, but am not optimistic. In one sense, i am a product of my age: an exhausted civilisation (the culture being by now long extinct) which can only mimic or denigrate the achievements of the past.

2. The decline of our arts is, for me, clearest in cinema, and the Star Wars franchise in particular. The Viking saw Rogue One recently, and wrote glowingly of the visuals, the special effects, but had nothing good to say of the characters and dialogue. The vile prequels are notoriously dreadful in every single aspect, to the point where they seem to have been written and directed by a 5-year-old. The Force Awakens is okay, a passable film indeed, with good special effects and visuals, not really much good about the dialogue or characters – and i dare say the sequel will be more of the same.

It’s by now to be expected, that big budget films like Rogue One will have great special effects and a lousy script. Avatar, for example, cost 237 million dollars, and was for me deeply tedious: again, it seemed that a 5-year-old child had written the script, for example the precious mineral the bad guys could only obtain on this furry blue planet was called Unobtainium.

Is it really so hard to get a decent writer, with the money Hollywood can throw around? Seemingly so. Or perhaps the studios and directors think the writing is irrelevant, that all you need to do is throw a lot of exploding robots and jiggling tits on the screen, and it’s a film.

3. The Force Awakens looked great, physical and kinetic:

force-awakens-26 force-awakens-29


– but for me, the only interesting character was Han Solo, the others being too much the standard Hollywood tropes: the tough Feminist girl who can do everything men can do but better, with perfect skin and lips despite living in a desert; the wise-cracking negro who bumbles comically about; the angsty emo etc. i didn’t really care that the heroes were all Diversity Quota Selections, nor did i care that Daisy Ridley’s character proved able to beat enemies down (she seems to have grown up alone on a desert planet, so would either be raped & murdered by Sand Peoples or learn to fight), or could use the Force so easily (for me, it seemed that the psychic altercation with Kylo Ren provoked her own innate talents, that the hostile symmetry of his powers inadvertently awoke her own). But i found the characters fairly dull; vaguely likeable, and forgettable.

Some of the dialogue was good; there were some good moments. The whole was however riddled with major plot holes, some so glaring i wondered if an explanatory bridge had been edited out. i wasn’t too bothered that it was a pastiche of the first Star Wars film, since that could be done with wit and depth (it wasn’t); but i found the plot holes gratingly frequent & coarse – best expressed in this review:

3. i’m willing to ignore the odd plot hole, but The Force Awakens was more hole than plot, to the point of meaninglessness. Meaningful character, motive, causality, were clearly of no importance to JJ Abrams. That absence of meaning is now the norm in modern cinema (as indeed, in our dead-end civilisation) – we are presented with things which make no sense, with flat, lazy characterisation, with characters who do things for seemingly no reason but to advance to the next special effect. Typically, modern films are full of meaningless spectacle. All the money and creativity goes into marketing and special effects; there are truly skilled cinematographers and technicians creating stunning moments – but moments without meaning.

This is, i would guess, why modern films can be so easily made into trailers – for a trailer is usually nothing more than a meaningless spectacle. Even modern fan-tributes of older films – up to the 80s or thereabouts – are usually lacklustre compared to trailers for worthless dazzle like The Matrix 2 or Man of Steel. There seems, indeed, often an inverse correlation between spectacle and meaning, so for example Butch Cassidy & the Sunshine Kid, or Jaws largely eschew the former. There are, of course, good films where spectacle is at the service of meaning: The Empire Strikes Back, From Russia with Love, Lethal Weapon, and some modern films like Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy, and Inception.

i find it telling that even Nolan – who creates interesting characters, with good dialogue, seems content with glaring plot holes, e.g. the Joker apparently planned to get caught when nothing in the film supports this rather extravagant explanation. That even an artist like Nolan wouldn’t, i suppose, see anything wrong with these plot holes is suggestive of the widespread rot, the insensitivity to meaning. When i say “meaning” i’m not talking about any kind of religious or spiritual factor – just some basic continuity from moment to moment, the kind of continuity we find in our waking reality and not in our dreams. i find this indifference to meaning also in politics, which has descended to Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia levels of nonsense: so Trump (i think guessing from his own polls that he would win the Rust Belt) says that if he loses the election it will be because it’s rigged; Obama tells him to “stop whining”; the so-called Intelligence communities say it’s impossible to rig the US elections; Trump wins; the Democrats and so-called Intelligence communities claim the election was rigged, and if you deny it then you’re deplorable because the elections have always been riggable, and we have always been at war with Russia. The evidence? Well, it’s complicated, you wouldn’t understand it, like you wouldn’t understand where Saddam hid his WMDs, or why we had to destroy Libya, or why the billions of dollars spent on the so-called Intelligence communities seem billions largely wasted. But trust us, there’s evidence.


The collapse of meaning, into spectacle, into politicians crying on camera, merely moderate political parties labelled “far Right”, Islam as “the religion of peace”, is so far advanced that i’m not sure it can be reversed; most likely not.

1. i’ve been splurging on genre fiction of late, having lost most interest in Serious Literature: i’m making my way through Daniel Silva’s Zionist spy thrillers, CS Lewis’s Cosmic Trilogy, and just finished Frank Herbert’s Dune. Silva’s Gabriel Allon series is quite good, well-written, just rather formulaic (every woman he meets falls in love with him; Allon is routinely captured, tortured, then escapes; at the end of each book he tracks down and kills the bad guy); if i were to criticise, i would say the Weltanschauung is uninteresting, conventional, unchallenging: he suggests at corruption in high places, never presses further; there is always a happy ending, the Powers That Be are always benign, the Chosen People always superior to the bigoted greedy Europeans. It’s a peculiar reading experience because, for me, the best spy thrillers share a gnostic intimation that the Powers That Be are, in fact, demonic; or, at best, merely aumildary, limited in their knowing and will; and because i’m not one of the Chosen People, and so don’t respond positively to the repeated motif of greedy evil Europeans and beautiful talented superhuman virtuous selfless Jews who are infinitely entitled against the rest of the world, because of the Holocaust etc.

i don’t have a problem with Silva, who i presume is a Jew, regarding his own genetic group as superior to all others, it’s just that for one thing it’s lazily swimming with the mainstream (i dare say he had absolutely no difficulty getting published), for another it’s at times rather too black and white for my tastes. A Huddersfield Supremacy series would be even more questionable but would at least have the virtue of swimming against the current.

2. i’m on book 3 of Lewis’ trilogy, very much enjoying it. Normally i am bored by sci-fi, and normally loathe CS Lewis. However, Out of the Silent Planet, Perelandra, and That Hideous Strength lack the belly-patting “are we all sitting comfortably?” smugness of the Narnia books or most of his Christianity for Dummies “theology”. In the first two books, the hero (a philologist called Elwin Ransom) accidentally and then deliberately voyages to Mars and Venus. In Out of the Silent Planet, Rommel meets a kind of non-physical intelligence, called Eldila, on Mars benign, on our Earth more properly demonic. Perelandra is even more interesting, a retelling of Paradise Lost if you like, with some interesting allusions to Dante (especially the Terrestrial Paradise of Purgatorio); there are some monumental and surreal landscapes and seascapes, and one of the greatest Satans i’ve come across in literature – actually, the most convincingly evil, with a persuasive and recognisable “voice”. At times, Perelandra reads like part of the Cthulhu mythos, a work of cosmic horror, albeit one written by Saint Augustine with Erwin Rommel as the main character. Here’s a picture of a young Lewis, smoking crack, by God:


A highly disturbing but good book; i found touches of the same Satanic voice in much of the news in 2016: the globalists’ latest initiative to teach pre-school children about pornography, and encourage little boys to volunteer for chemical castration, the smiling dismissal of Muslim gang rape as a minor intercultural misunderstanding, the haughty condemnation of the native European population for failing to commit cultural & genetic suicide. Every time Obama or Angela Merkel open their mouths, hark, that Satanic note.

3. Our time is only comprehensible under the aspect of spiritual warfare. There are non-physical sentient forces, Eldila if you like, and they can “possess” a physically-alive human being, though in my experience the benign Eldila do not possess; they rather present images, words, ideas, at certain points, in such a way that the man may dismiss them if he will.

Possession – which i guess would always be malign – happens from time to time. As far as i judge, child abuse, extreme trauma, drugs, insanity, can open a crack in the psyche, through which malign forces may periodically enter. This is, i would surmise, one reason why so-called black magic, the elite, and child sexual abuse often go together – the demonic forces desire new hosts, and use those corrupted by worldly power to perpetuate their ends. Hence, one should not be overly surprised that the intended POTUS, Frau Clinton, surrounded herself with a mixture of incompetents, paedophiles, and those into rather shabby low-grade magic. For me, it’s clear that the very rich & powerful are likely to be tempted, since their position puts them above the law, and they are liable to feel unsatisfied by ordinary human pleasures, since many suppose fame/power/wealth must bring about extraordinary pleasures.

4. i recently had an experience which suggests one of the principle vectors of Europe’s sufferings is attended by powerful non-physical forces. Let’s call him The Vulture. In his case, i suspect he was sexually abused as a child in the late 30s or early 40s, caught up in the maelstrom of evil sloshing around Europe at the time, and at some point gave himself to not merely the earthly agents of that evil, but to the evil itself. Certain malevolent forces took up permanent residence in his psyche, and directed him to immense worldly success, and to others of his kind. The Vulture now has a peculiar deadness to him, as if something vital died off long ago in his spirit; Dante would have rightly judged him as fit for Ptolomea; and indeed, it seems The Vulture’s initiation involved treachery to his own kind. One could see him as a link between the evil of old, and the evil of today – he speaks a different language now, and is hideously aged, but i think the same essential malevolent spirit is in him, a spirit of ruin and betrayal and pain.

5. The third volume in Lewis’ trilogy is interesting – i’m only about a third through, but so far it appears that the cosmic evil is taking earthly form in post-war England through a vast, progressive bureaucracy that has more or less taken over the State, and under exceedingly vague talk of science and humanity and progress is at work to first suborn and then annihilate the human race and all its beauties and nobility. The setting may as well be my Alma Mater, as Lewis even notes in his introduction.

It seems typical of the demonic, that when it would operate on a broad scale it attempts to co-opt idealism and so will robe itself in talk of Progress and Humanity and so on; while those who are truly good, or at least fighting the good fight, generally eschew such grand terms. It has long puzzled me, why this should be; perhaps it is because the true virtues, to use Wittgenstein’s terms, can be shown but not said; you can embody and enact them in your daily life, but any talk is necessarily second-rate, of facile & dubious value – this is why, i deem, Shakespeare gave the line “to thine own self be true” to Polonius of all people.

6. Discussing Trump with The Wolf, he said “but it is still not clear what he really wants“. i myself find Trump a puzzle: he is sometimes bizarre and mildly repulsive with his huge Cro-Magnon skull and orange hair, sometimes highly amusing and likeable with messages like this:


If i were in his shoes, that is exactly the kind of message i would have issued. The media’s continued, hysterical attacks on Trump confirm my initial sense that he is not part of the globalist plan. i feel sorry for anyone whose news comes mostly from CNN, the New York Times, Washington Post, overheard conversations in Starbucks and the university canteen etc. – for one thing, a rudimentary Google would reveal that most of the attacks on Trump are somewhere between outright falsehoods and gross distortions, e.g. “Trump says all Mexicans are rapists”, in reality Trump points out that a lot of those who enter the US illegally are “not the best” of Mexico, and some are rapists (and many merely come through Mexico from shitholes like Colombia and Honduras); or another classic “Trump says women are pigs”, in reality Trump said Rosie O’Donnell is a pig; and so on. Or a recent CNN classic: 

During the campaign, he repeatedly downplayed violent outbursts his supporters displayed at times toward protesters and insisted that paid activists were instead responsible for inciting violence at his rallies.

“You people were vicious, violent, screaming, ‘Where’s the wall? We want the wall!’ Screaming, ‘Prison! Prison! Lock her up!’ I mean you are going crazy. I mean, you were nasty and mean and vicious and you wanted to win, right?” Trump said Friday. “But now, you’re mellow and you’re cool and you’re not nearly as vicious or violent, right? Because we won, right?”

This clumsily-written “story” was run in the usual places, to the effect that Trump apparently admitted his fans are wild crazed animals. They even presented a carefully-edited video which anyone with an ounce of irony would realise was Trump saying “this is how the media see you” not “this is how you are”. The full speech, incidentally, is here. But then how many of the New York and California hipsters would bother with the truth, when they know it in their hearts and their feeeeelings? Even after DNC leaks showed Hillary’s staff organising violence at Trump rallies, the media still push the “Trump fans are all psychopathic KKK straight white men who rape women because they are fascists literally like Hitler only worse!” line.

That the bought media and the elites so unrelentingly hate Trump is, in a sense, reassuring. One can judge somewhat of the elite’s views & intent from the mainstream press; that Trump is not part of their plan, that Hillary was more or less guaranteed the presidency by the elites, that (cold or hot) war with Russia was planned for the near future. At present it looks like Obama is either hoping to start a war with Russia in the next 3 weeks, or to at least sour relations for Trump – but Putin for all his faults is no dummy, and is probably smiling coldly to himself as he eats caviar off some 17-year-old girl’s buttocks, waiting for Obama to fuck off to his mansions and the 100,000 dollar/hour speech circuit.

i expected that Trump would become at least half-bought, and the media attacks would subside, that only the fringe of hipsters and lesbians would continue to shriek Hitler, but it seems he is still his own man, whatever that is; and while i don’t expect him to achieve all that much, he seems to be deranging & disordering the fabrication of the elites:

As they walk, Ariadne notices more and more of the projections staring at her.

ARIADNE Why are they all looking at me?

COBB Because my subconscious feels that someone else is creating the world. The more you change things, the quicker the projections start to converge on you.

ARIADNE Converge?

COBB They sense the foreign nature of the dreamer, and they attack like white blood cells fighting an infection.

ARIADNE They’re going to attack us?

COBB No. Just you.

7. And so onto Dune. In an earlier age it would have been an esoteric fragment recovered from a cave somewhere in the Middle East; in ours, it has become a sci-fi classic, not to mention a strangely compelling and highly flawed David Lynch film with Sting prancing around in leather pants and Patrick Stewart snarling murderously.

Unlike other space battle/lasers/alien works, it places the human at the centre. Due to a refusal to use computers – Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a human mind – the human has become central (whereas in our world, the human is as it were shunted to one side, in favour of the machine). In our world, there is simultaneously much study, and much gross misunderstanding, of the human; our attempts to form human nature are risibly deluded, or rather demonic – to create the perfect consumer, a nervous credulous gobbler-up of whatever lies are served up by the elites. Real strength is violently discouraged, and education has produced two generations of ignorant, weak-willed neurotics. 

In Dune, the Bene Gesserit order breed certain bloodlines, to produce a human being capable of extraordinary feats. In a certain sense, i agree – genetics does influence character, though in a highly complex engagement with environment; however i agree rather in the sense that people can at the lowest be just animals with the ability to produce words and operate machines:

“A duke’s son must know about poisons,” she said. “It’s the way of our times, eh? Musky, to be poisoned in your drink. Aumas, to be poisoned in your food. The quick ones and the slow ones and the ones in between. Here’s a new one for you: the gom jabbar. It kills only animals.”

Pride overcame Paul’s fear. “You dare suggest a duke’s son is an animal?” he demanded.

“Let us say I suggest you may be human,” she said.

– and in the sense that the human may be trained, encouraged, educated (led out of the animal mind). Not that real education is easy, or even possible for most; to quote Paul Atreides: There should be a science of discontent. People need hard times to develop psychic muscles.

In our time, most people strike me as “animals” in the Dune sense; those who are at least potentially human have typically swum against the current. In one sense, our world is very dark indeed, in another this very obscuration and sickness can act as a catalyst for those who could be fully human. i feel that the last two or maybe even three generations are mostly damned, and as (Exodus) the Chosen People wandered for 40 years in the desert, before entering the Promised Land to slaughter the inhabitants, so most of those now alive and in adulthood are unredeemable, and no matter what happens they will not open their eyes. One could take Nordal Hauken as emblematic of these generations; they will i think perish in the desert of their own sickness, refusing to see because they are, spiritually speaking, insane.

If to be a human being is to exist somewhere in the very broad spectrum between the animals and something like an angel, then most today have chosen the ecstasy of the beast, to abdicate their potential and become, well, trendies:


And remember, whatever else you have taken from this: “it’s a new thing, not just being in a narcoleptic state, or being cowardly, or having a pot belly, I mean the average trendy resembles a paedophile, it’s like the style. Chicken-necked weakness is like a god now, being totally passive and being a huge jellyfish slacker who looks like a fried egg on a chair.”

1. Vienna, my fourth or fifth time i think. Whether the recent Multicultural Enrichment or my own perception/memory, it seemeth sore beset with infestation of criminal & evil-doer. In bars, pubs, restaurants, it is much like Munich; on the streets & u-bahns, German seems a minority language (20%), the rest being half Muslim-tongue, and Slav. There are, as in Munich now, roving packs of military-age Muslim, and lone predators, but unlike in Munich they seem to rule the roost here, with a cocky sneering arrogance – i guess word travels quickly, that Vienna police do nothing, and rape is fine. Not that German courts would do more, but the police are everywhere to be found in Munich, in pairs, armed, serious of mien & girth, and they will act.

i wander aghast from my hotel to Stefansdom, muttering “the sand people! the sand people!” and glad of my Uzi and pepper spray. Even the Viennese slavs look more prone to Adidas than the Munich variety.

2. It is a faintly evil & weird city. Clown graffiti:


Sinister shopfronts:


Though i am tempted to investigate this creepy-looking cafe, just for the name:


Most of the city is banal and ugly, with too much traffic, noise, and especially in winter little colour; and yet it often has a strangeness to it; gruesomely modern and sorcerous, with a vision inimical to men:

img_20161210_130314785_hdr img_20161210_130255048_hdr

At first disturbing, and then stimulating. It reminds me at times of Edinburgh in winter; unlike Munich, this is a city you could disappear into. Munich, for all its history, seems to me a city without magic – too clean, too orderly, too civilised; Vienna has, to my eyes, its own magic, a kind of seedy, leering, alien presence.

As ever, a lot of beggars, and many crazies – folk shambling about grinning at nothing, dressed only in, e.g. shabby pinstripe suits and slippers (no socks).

3. i meet the Viking. He has a cut on his nose, looks as if he tried & perhaps even succeeded in a Muslim-style sexual assault but the victim put up a struggle. i tactfully inquire, “did you rape someone?”. The usual response, a Hmmm, and then: “I walked into a glass door.”

We drink at Siebensternbräu, where i note many Hs cut into the walls, i put forward my own, sinister interpretation:


We go to the usual Pub Bukowski, where the Viking finds a woman in the toilet. At the time i just shrugged, thinking “that is the kind of thing that happens to him”; only later, i thought “he probably went into the women’s toilet”.

We defile many other bars etc., including Das Torberg, The Sign, in search of gin, whisky, pig flesh, and smoking facilities. We fail to have any real adventures, by which i mean the Viking doesn’t smash anything or commit any assaults, or get smooth with the ladies, or set his absinthe on fire. i play him one of my favourite Varg Vikernes videos

and he later draws this tribute while talking about how he wants to become an Augustinian and experiment on himself:


We walk the streets for miles. The Vienna strangeness continues:


i presume the shadow figure at the bottom was some intended artistic effect, but i don’t recall seeing it at the time, and so it was probably Vlad Dracul – about whom i talked at length, gleefully wondering if the Order of the Dragon is still extant.

4. i wander a bit around Vienna alone. Some strange juxtapositions:


and find myself on Argentinierstraße, looking up at Karlskirche


i wander down it, feeling memory tugging, then remember – i was here 3 or 4 years ago, looking for the so-called Palais Wittgenstein.

5. i go to Bratislava to meet the Viking and his Intended. It is hideous:


We walk down a horrible road, then get a horrible Slavic bus down a horrible dual carriageway, to an incongruously excellent restaurant in the middle of nowhere. Superb menus:



Soup is base! The Viking scowls, “I will take this home and edit it for free.” And i: “That’s blasphemy, you would ruin the whole thing.” And he: “Hmmm.”

Sated by duck and cabbage and blueberry pancakes, we stagger into the old town, which is small but very pleasant:

img_20161212_155755188_hdr img_20161212_150033058_hdr

The city is full of Slavs. i am the only darkie to be seen, and there are Adidas-Slavs a-plenty, and scrofulous-looking scum slouching about looking like crippled orcs waiting to pounce on a hobbit, but on the whole it seems safe enough. The cops are fat and look vaguely embarrassed and cold, lacking gloves in the winter chill.

It’s a genuinely Muslim-free zone and in my heart i know that i will end up fleeing here and will live with the Viking and his Intended, teaching their 20 blonde children good Odinic values and the Way of the Uzi.

6. The Viking springs one of his Surprises and introduces me to Patrik Slažanský, a local pipe-maker. Patrik arrives with an orange suitcase full of his creations:

img_20161212_164248167 img_20161212_161853818

The Viking generously purchases a pipe for me, i opt for what is probably the most expensive, “Dark Beauty”, a real wonder of the art:


i’ve smoked it twice now and find it finely balanced in the hand and mouth, with a cool, clear smoke. It sits happily in the hand, with something of a battleship’s stately poise, and a living lightness. As Patrik said (in Slovak), his pipes are made from his love of the art, and he hopes they carry that value and intensity with them, to their eventual owner.

7. The train home, i get a carriage to myself from Salzburg to Munich, and luxuriate, re-reading Dune and drinking:


i admire the pipe, noting how its coloration changes easily in sunlight, a good sign:


And now i am back in Munich.

1.  Am off to Vienna tomorrow, will likely have no internet access for a few days, so will try to write something now. Not much time or energy of late, on top of 12-hour days i’ve been slaving at my hideous Bildungsroman the last few months, actually the last 14 years, and am now reasonably content but still of course unsatisfied, on each edit finding yet more gross imperfection & lewdness. My only consolation is that each version is slightly better than the one before, this latest noticeably more than the one i published on Lulu in 2008. It’s been hard work because i had no idea how to write a novel when i began in 2002, and so one can see it like renovating a house built on bad foundations, unable to just rip the whole thing down but instead preserving the essential structure and bit by bit figuring out how it should have been to begin with. The 50 or so rewrites are not testament to the novel’s excellence, but rather its (and my) original inadequacy; much as the Japanese swordsmiths folded the steel umpteen times because their iron was low grade, and this folding served to even out the carbon content.

2. My life has been a long process of painful refinement, because, presumably, the original ore was so low-grade. And yet, i find myself partially conscious, unlike many – not intelligent exactly, but able to simultaneously live, think, and observe my own thought processes & emotion. Most people, it seems, are not. Last week i realised why i am so panicked by complaints, by surly-looking students; i noted that every time i have a great group or class, and think “i like my job!” i almost immediately have a shitty class as if to say, “hey, you bastard, you should die.” i believe such recurrent patterns are (for me, at least) intended to instruct, and so i dwelt upon the matter, and after 7 years of fairly frequent complaints, 7 years of fearing i will be fired and die in a ditch, in Bradford, 7 years of nonetheless surviving all, it became clear that the particular shape and urgency of this fear is what one could call a past life residual stress. Being outcast and despised, and destroyed, is part of my essential nature, but in this context, particular and explicable.

3. i am presently going through a kind of convergence of times and selves, manifesting partly in odd coincidences, and some kind of “telepathy” – with the latter, i find myself knowing what people will say, before they say it, and while some of it is probably easily explicable since i know my students, their core vocab, and can thus occasionally anticipate almost exactly their next few words, there have been enough weird moments where, realistically, no one could have imagined what would follow, and i was sitting there nodding & smiling encouragingly, thinking the words which my student then uttered.

4. i attended the McLingua Christmas Party, getting a plate of disgusting Indian food (actually quite nice), a glass of red wine, and locking myself in a classroom to enjoy the party without distractions. i then read some of a Daniel Silva Gabriel Allon novel (well-written if sometimes predictable spy thrillers about a Mossad agent; more or less okay though i notice that Germans are always described as stupid bigots and, well, it’s no surprise the author’s wife works for CNN) till California Jesus and Doug the Greaser came in, stared at me, and said, “What the fuck, are you READING?”

Later, i met a fellow pagan more or less by chance, as we say in Middle Earth. Curiously, i am far more radical than he – he’s my age, Welsh, an archaeologist, but a soft polytheist, whereas i am very much one of the heardingas (runic pun). For me, there is no point pursuing this if one is merely adoring and beseeching figures in one’s own head – perhaps it works for some; for me not.

5. Age now 40, i feel i have outlived my self and rather pleasantly exist in a volatized space where it makes no real difference if i physically live or die. Almost all my human contacts are in class, and i have to read English for hours every day to maintain some connection to the language. My students are of course just my students, i am friendly, cordial, encouraging, but there is necessarily no real connection; i rarely socialise, having learnt to avoid and distrust my colleagues; the last time i met anyone i trusted was the last time i saw Juniper in Kassel, a month ago; but tomorrow i will cavort with the terrible Viking in the Austro-Hungarian Empire, sacrificing Christians and quaffing mead gin in the name of the old gods.


1. i’ve been following this Youtube exchange between Varg Vikernes and Styxhexenhammer666:

i) Varg attacks Stefan Molyneux (an Anarcho-Capitalist)

ii) Styxhexenhammer666 responds

iii) Varg attacks all Capitalists

i of course favour Capitalism, since it is more or less uninterested in what one individual thinks or feels, as long as most people buy stuff, and it’s usually possible to find overlooked little nooks and crags of freedom; as opposed to Communism or Socialism, both of which are naturally totalitarian, because they are ideological and wish to control everything and everybody.

As a permanently broke, traditionalist loser, i have excited, at best, contempt and derision from materialists, but hatred and abuse from the Left. i have no doubt that some of the Lefties i know would have me killed if they had the power, and the rest would i think go in for some kind of reprisal – forced labour in a re-education camp, for example. But very very few on the Left would, i wager, say, “Well I think you’re evil and wrong but you have the right to have your vile opinions and to spew them out on your stupid little blog that no one reads.” No no, wrong opinions must be silenced, or Adolf Hitler will jump out of your Schnitzel, brandishing a dead Jew baby and cackling “Trump!”

2. Castro is finally dead. And now the question – will all those colourful streets and 50s cars give way to tasteless modernity, everyone equipped with the latest dishwasher and Ford (both guaranteed to last no longer than the warranty before becoming irreparably defective). It seems clear that, human nature being what it is, with the free market all beauty and individualism will disappear and the entire world will look like Bradford (a right proper shithole), a dirty anodyne town of chain stores and chav scum and Muslims. At best, a few pockets of beauty will survive, as carefully-managed tourist resorts.

In addition, i agree with Varg, that Capitalism will inevitably become Crony Capitalism. And i think this will be so whether there is government or not. If there is, companies will bribe politicians to pass regulations driving all competition out of the market. If we have a state of total anarchy, then companies will simply use criminal means to destroy competition, as do drug dealers, and i don’t think social disapproval and the free market will make any difference here. The ideal, i suppose, is a limited government of moral but not ideological men, incorruptible. But that’s asking rather a lot. The first principle of any political/social system should be: human beings are weak and easily corrupted, and bureaucracy will almost always accomplish the opposite of its stated purpose.

3. But i think Andrew Breitbart was correct, politics is downstream from culture. i remember, rather appalled by some mid-90s TV show of gloating vulgarity, wondering if it would be better to have 50s-style censorship; but on reflection such ghastly shows would have been an enormous failure in the 50s, or even i think up to the late 80s, because most people would have found them unwatchably disgusting; likewise, it wouldn’t have been necessary to ban gangster rap in the 50s – no one would have liked it.

Culture changes of itself; one could say it is the stratum just above the spirit-level (gods & what not), and to us it seems that our culture is suddenly different, for no clear reason, and politics can then be traced back to this first visible factor. We live now in a culture of shameless self-promotion and feckless adolescence, which has given us a series of neo-con and neo-liberal politicians, despising the West, out only for a quick buck and a bit of podium-strutting and sententious posturing.

4. As i have felt the last year or so, things are changing in the cellarage, and our culture will begin to change, seemingly of itself. As seems the way of things, key figures (artists, politicians, business leaders) will appear and galvanise those around them, in a chain of effect beginning in the metaphysical substratum. Trumposaurus Rex is the most obvious of these – he’s the first major politician in my adult memory to have an unvarnished character & ironic intelligence, and balls like King Kong. Not an untarnished character, of course, but he lacks the absolute modern hypocrisy exemplified by Obama and Tony Blair. He is an actor but in a different, i think deeper way – he has an ironic depth, as if he from time to time drops asides, reflecting on what he is saying. Consider Styxhexenhammer666’s analysis of this one Trump Tweet:

“his critics appear not to understand sarcasm. They don’t understand irony. They don’t understand hypocrisy either.”

i’ve observed this penchant for ironic play throughout Trump’s appearances and comments, ranging from cruel sarcasm through to almost theatrical asides & body language. All modern politicians are necessarily actors – some terrible, like Angela Merkel, some highly accomplished like Obama. Trump is in his way as great an actor as Obama, but there is something different, something deeper going on – i would say that Obama has no scruples at all about “crying” on TV and then going to his office to order more drone strikes on civilians, and sitting back smiling as Black Lives Matter try to initiate a full-on race war; for him, this isn’t an act, because he has no integrity at all. By contrast, i think Trump enjoys acting, and this is part of his enormous & frankly Godlike on-screen presence – that he relishes being a showman – and watching him “perform” i get the feeling his mind is simultaneously running on several different tracks, that while it is an act, he knows it is an act in the moment.

In a sense he is dishonest – he’s probably told all kinds of lies by now, on & off camera – and certainly his electoral persona was a mask he donned for the occasion; but it strikes me as more of an ironic doubling, lacking the total & inhuman dishonesty of, for example, Tony Blair. i think one can assume, with Trump, that everything is an act, and that everything is also, somehow, real. But time will tell.

Trump is part of the new order of things, because of his ironic depth; looking at TV interviews with him from the 80s, he is guarded, reticent, and i think this is his natural stance – watchful, quiet, “inclosing reserve”, and through his reality TV years he developed layer upon layer of ironic doubling and mirroring. His greatest achievement was to make Leftists think he’s dumb and crazy – what they don’t understand is that after eight years of Obama’s slick, meaningless statements, this seems down to earth and authentic to anyone who can compare the media narrative with day to day reality.

“Crazy Trump” is interesting – i don’t see him as unpredictable or volatile at all, he seems to me rather a highly balanced and calculating individual – but i think he alarms many people because they feel, but don’t understand, that ironic doubling. They would rather have a straightforward through & through hypocrite scumbag like Obama or Tony Blair, who can say anything without attaching the slightest meaning thereto, than someone like Trump, whose persona as it were angles variously out from his reality in ironic refraction, so you’re never quite sure where he stands, because his self is not modern, and hence not two-dimensionally transparent and sanitised. It alarms people, to be confronted with a politician with a sense of irony, and seemingly no major scandals, and no need for money, my God what will he do, he’s unpredictable, he’s not in the pocket of Goldman Sachs, he’s not PC, he’s literally Hitler, it’s fascism all over again, Castro would make a better President, and he’s dead, hell even Hitler would be better than Trump, Trump is literally Hitler, etc.

5. The mistake people make – in their lives and in history – is to assume that the past will repeat itself identically. Hitler made the same mistake, thinking that just as Frederick the Great’s armies were saved by the last minute death of the Empress Elizabeth, so the Allies would inevitably turn on each other, and Nazi Germany would be saved. Our current transition will no doubt savour of certain moments in the past, but just as i’ve learnt that my own life – while echoing my last at certain moments – has its own shape, so too this new world.

The only thing i am fairly sure of, is that the modern Left is on its way out at last.

6. For the last few weeks, i’ve been teaching at a public sector institution i shall call the Amt, the German headquarters based partly in Munich. It’s a university/school type building, thick walls, quiet corridors, an unmistakable sense of the public sector. The students, to my surprise, are lovely, not at all the lazy entitled Beamte class i expected. i rather enjoy teaching there, in part because of my sehr cool visitor’s ID and the atmosphere – after 7 years of teaching in German businesses, it’s an oasis of gin in a desert of scowling Teutons.

The principle of the institution is operative throughout, so e.g. in BMW i was always aware of the pressure to make money, because it’s a business. In the Amt, the background & originating principle is public service. i realise, working there, how much i miss this atmosphere – which i last felt in my first 6 months at my last office job (in a hospital).

This is of value for me, and so i wouldn’t side with the anarchists. The great achievement of the Left has been to infest and eat out the public services, corrupting them into vast self-interested bureaucracies, with a socialist (i.e. anti-West) agenda.

i think of a Charles McCarry character, who says the CIA will be doomed when they go from operating out of gentlemen’s clubs and living rooms, to having a headquarters. Perhaps it is so. If i would point to anything in the coming order, i would suggest a return to the gifted amateur, the informal, the human. It will be dizzying and strange to many, just as any real individual will strike fear & uncertainty into the hearts of the lesser man. i taught probably one of Germany’s most influential journalists a couple of months ago, turned out he’d never even heard of Breitbart or the Alt-Right, was sure Trump would lose. Likewise, i won 5 Euros betting The Wolf on the God Emperor’s Ascent – he was rather shocked, because while he knows far more about politics than me, he is of the generation to trust the mainstream media, and so he is out of step with the coming Order (i’ve decided it merits a capital o).

It will seem like anarchy and dissolution to those of the old world. But while i’m sure the multicultural degradation introduced by the Merkel and her ilk will have a grim legacy, trust in the old gods if you will, or in what Kafka calls das Unzerstörbare, the indestructible; i’m with the high command.

my latest Elberried post

1. and the rest were blinded.

i haven’t paid any attention to an election before in my life, probably not in my existence. i gave up faith in politicians when Nu Labour won in 97 and showed themselves a thousand times worse than the corrupt, grey Tories.

When i began reading “literature” aged 20, i was only interested in fiction, poetry, philosophy – the inner structure of the human mind; and felt history, politics, facts, were secondary at best. The bare bones & logic of things were enough, more than enough. In my job, i have come to find interest in “business”, and i became interested in history a few years ago, when i began reading WW2 era histories for my next novel. i now see the entirety of human endeavour as fractal, and so politics and war reflect on, are reflected by, philosophy and poetry.

2. Ten years ago i felt disconsolately out of step with this world, born a generation too late. i am now anticipating a wave of nationalist, conservative movements in Europe, and a profound metapolitical shift. i suppose the last would have been in 1989, though i was too young to notice; before that, it was 1945 – at that time, the metaphysical nature of our world changed, and for those who grew up before the First World War, it was like waking up on a different planet. It is difficult to convey just how unsettling it was, as if you had gone through a portal to an alternate reality: because the world of your making no longer existed. Entire cities were gone, as was the culture of Wilhelmine Germany and Imperial Austria.

Even long-term memory became difficult – this could be why, as WG Sebald wrote, many survivors of the Allies’ bombing raids, e .g. in Dresden, seemed to remember nothing when interviewed after the war. The unsettling sense of being in a different reality could be partly evaded by heading into the most backward rural areas, but even so, it was strange to remember the life before 1945 as if, perhaps, it had never happened, or was a distant faded photograph, in someone else’s album. Unsurprising, then, that some more or less accepted death, having outlived their world.

3. i see this happening now with certain Americans. Toddball, for example, a Bernie bro who gets his political opinions from overheard conversations, Facebook comment threads, youtube comedy clips, etc. He’s not exactly stupid, just ignorant, uneducated, uninterested in reading or sustained thought, so all his opinions are highly superficial and derived, second-hand, from mainstream media; e.g. he thought North Carolina was blocking the so-called bathroom bill because “them dumb-ass rednecks think trannies gonna molest their children”; whereas they were justifiably worried that perverts & paedos – who far outnumber trannies – would “identify” as women in order to go into the girls’ facilities).

He was naturally confident Hillary would win, while i was widely regarded as nuts for predicting a Trump victory. On the Glorious Morning (Wednesday 9 Nov) he smashed the McLingua kettle in the grotty Arbeitsamt (Job Centre) building, and threw it over my head at the wall of the teacher room, this being, i suppose, his idea of political commentary. i’m the only teacher who uses the kettle, the others all drinking coffee or beer at work.

He then wrote on FB: “Anyone who thinks what happened today is a good thing, UNFRIEND ME NOW” – so i did.

i found this quite amusing, and typically Left-wing. Perhaps it’s different in America, but all my life i have fought what Tolkien calls the long defeat, and so learnt to shift my attention to the metapolitical, hoping to preserve something of this culture before it is utterly destroyed. i haven’t been made angry by politics and the actions of the powers that be in a long time – not even hearing that the Iraqi who raped a 10-year-old boy was freed (or rather, had his conviction overturned) because, the good judges surmise, he probably didn’t know the boy wasn’t giving consent to a sexual assault. i merely thought, – Well, that’s what i would expect.

Toddball is a petty criminal, a thief, drug dealer, who naturally wants a Government who will tax anyone richer than him, and make sure he can get lots of free things, while working for cash in hand which he doesn’t declare. His father, a retired teacher, apparently taught English Literature at school on texts he couldn’t be bothered reading, and made sure he was popular by giving everyone high grades – a strategy Toddball has followed in McLingua. That is his background: a low-level corruption, crime, and a generous public sector salary. Naturally, he regards Donald Trump as the Antichrist.

4. For Toddball, as for all of those in mainstream media, the ongoing metapolitical shift is terrifying and strange; it has begun on a metaphysical level, and so will not be denied even by the usual vote rigging and corruption and violence. His anger is of course normal for the Left; he and a New York Left-wing FB friend of mine were both gloating about violence at a Trump rally a few months ago, where George Soros’ paid minions turned up to shut down a political gathering; they meanwhile accused Trump of being a fascist who will shut down free speech and freedom of assembly. Most amusing.

In part it is a reality shock, for they have long been on the winning side – more globalisation, more homogeneity, destruction of native cultures, more crime, and – the ultimate goal of the Left – the annihilation of Western civilisation (the general goal of both Bush and Obama). They are unaccustomed to losing, and take it badly.

The worse the crimes of the Left, the high treason of Angela Merkel, the greater the swing to the Right. We will see on 4 December, when Austria have their little elections, and the Italians. i will make sure to have a lot of gin to hand, to celebrate or console myself – the former, i think.

5. i have given much thought to Trump. i have consulted the gods (who predicted Clinton would burn herself in rage, and Trump would hold the reins) on his nature. i see him as a dreamer, odd though it may sound. We will have to see, but for now i think the crazed reaction of the mainstream media

and the political elite, not to mention George Soros, tell you what you need – he is genuinely feared & hated by the powers that be; and with cause. i would tentatively say he is a patriot because he is an egomaniac – he is American, hence sees America as a great country, and hence is unhappy to see it despised over the world, its blue collar jobs gone to China, its elite casting aspersions and curses on the people who made the country that made Donald Trump.

i think he is the figure who will begin the next metapolitical shift. i think he has the intelligence, the cunning, the strength of will and egotism, and i think he can’t be bought off, and he has been planning this a long time.

For those who say he’s crazy and stupid, look at his interviews from the 1970s/80s – a totally different persona. Look at his victory speech – as soon as he won, he dropped the madman ruse, because he no longer needed it to drive a hammer edge through the media. He is a master manipulator of image. And, i suspect, there is no real dirt on him – if there was, i am sure the Clintons would have dug it up by now. His vices are ordinary.

i don’t think he is a “good” man, but good men tend to live quiet retiring lives despairing of the world, walking around their flats in torn Adidas trousers, drinking beer and moaning. i think he is a surprisingly ordinary man, in terms of his interests, his pleasures; he enjoys & needs attention, and applause; and he doesn’t just want to get elected – he wants to be remembered as one of the great presidents, for a long time to come.

6. As for the future, i have long foreseen an awakening of the West, of tradition. But, as the progressives say, you can’t turn the clock back. i think there will be, simultaneous with the Ascension of the God Emperor, a new interest in European tradition, in the nation, in the identity of a people. If nothing else, the refugees military age Muslim men from Syria Afghanistan, Pakistan, North Africa, Somalia, etc., will force the question.

i disagree with the Liberal Right who say we just need to return to secular democracy with free speech, and if we can talk about everything openly everything will be fine. The problem is we had this, and it failed – it failed because the Left don’t care about free speech and democracy, they see it as a convenient weakness to exploit, to achieve their totalitarian utopia where the white race and Western civilisation have been exterminated.

i disagree with the radical traditionalists who want a return to the Middle Ages – and for me, “the Middle Ages” would be in many ways preferable to the present. i disagree because you can, of course, reintroduce strains of culture from the past, but only in a symbiosis with the present.

Unless guided by the gods, this new metapolitical world will be, i guess, bloody and appalling, even if it eventually saves Europe from turning into Somalia. But i feel sure the gods are at work here. On the night of Brexit, i assumed we would lose, that the elites would rig the vote, but i had strangely blissful dreams all night (usually i just dream about trying to get to work on time, or being homeless), strong with the present of Wotan – a presence i haven’t so keenly felt since 2008; and i woke in a mood of rare joy, thinking, “oh well, now i’ll open the internet and find we lost” – and found we had won. And though i knew the elites would try to block this, i also knew they would fail.

When the metaphysical change really extends out into the culture of the West, there will be many strange transformations; many who just change their mind, suddenly valuing European traditions and their long heritage. For those fearing this year is 1929 again, with the collapse of the old order, and the birth of new extremism – well, yes and no; no because there are new energies not merely in human culture but in the world, including the animals.

It’s a wider game now, being played for strange stakes. i understand almost nothing of this, except that i observe certain people alive now, some after a long time, and i feel that the bishops and knights and rooks are being brought into position.

another post i wrote on elberried

And remember, when people say, only racists and sexists voted for Trump, i’m racist and sexist and i didn’t vote for him, though in all fairness that’s only because i’m not a US citizen. Enjoy.

My election special over at my purely satirical blog.

wordpress hit counter