The Viking emails me, regarding my plan to grow a Moses beard:

Every Dec. 6th, when Santa goes round giving presents, the Krampus accompanies him to whip naughty children and birch the behinds of pert young ladies. The Krampus carries a barrel on his back wherewith to bear children down to Hell, has chains on his hands and feet, and has a generally demonic appearance. Also, a trident. And a beard.

Sounds like an Elberry kind of job, if i fail to quench the prophetic/Messianic/never shuts up side of my personality, and so have to quit teaching.