In about 19 hours, David and his sexy German boss are visiting K___; ostensibly she is coming to see a friend but secretly it is to inspect me. A conundrum: she seems really nice but all managers are the Kurgan:

We’ve planned to meet and have a friendly chat but i know she will suddenly say something TEFL like: “Without using German, how would you define ‘logical space’ to a student who only has beginner’s English?” and i’ll have to say, “lady, i have no idea what the hell you’re talking about, are you on crack or something?” and then she’ll say “consider yourself fired” and i’ll think “damn, she was really the Kurgan all along.”

This will be a difficult meeting, because although she is a manager, and hence the Kurgan, she seems nice, she has a dog, and she looks like this:

i’ve prepared by shaving my body hair off and glueing it to my face, in order to look manly and professional. Because one should always be professional. i’m also going to read up on logical space, just in case she asks the question above, though given she reads my blog it doesn’t seem very likely. If she’s really the Kurgan she’ll come up with something different like, “what’s all that stuff on your face? is that really your body hair? why did you do that? Are you mental?” or maybe she’ll just stick a sword in my gut and laugh horribly, or when i say “pleased to meet you” she’ll say, in a deep Kurgan rasp: “Of course you are.”

There can be only one.

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