1. Today the Spanish girl in my training group said to me: “I hope you won’t be angry if I say this, but you are exactly the stereotype I had of the English.”

Elberry: Huh?

Spanish girl: The way you look and dress and everything, it is just like I thought the English would be. You are very formal. Friendly but formal. You are exactly English.

Elberry: i take that as a great compliment.

2. Just now, i met my landlady. Christian, my hippy flatmate, translated between us. She seemed to approve of Elberry, for he said: “She likes you, she says you seem friendly.” Twice in one day.

3. Amusing conversation between Morgana and myself over a coffee:

Elberry: i don’t think i’m particularly English. Except that i try to be polite –

Morgana: I don’t think you’re polite. Yesterday you were really rude to me, you fucking retarded person, you’re the rudest fucking idiot I’ve ever met.

Elberry: Well yes, but that was during class. I was going to apologise but I knew that would just enrage you.

Morgana: I hate apologies. I would prefer it if the fucking situation never arose in the first fucking place, so you have nothing to apologise for, you fucking moron.

Elberry: i agree. Unfortunately, i don’t have a time travel machine so i can’t do anything about that.

A cruel elvish laugh. i like half-Swedish elves, especially the cruel ones who swear a lot.