i vaguely meant to vote this year, for the first time in my life – and probably in any life. However, i was busy contemplating imminent death in Kiel, then beautiful evil elves in Ultima Thule, and so forgot and now it’s too late and wouldn’t have made any difference anyway. i probably would have voted for the Raving Monster Loony Party, or the Tories if they weren’t so gay and friendly. i want a politician who wears tweed and beats churls and ne’er-do-wells and gouchers and socialists with his umbrella. He should have a name like Montaigue C. Birnbach and have seen the shit in some war or another. He will smell faintly of dog and sherry. He will be caught taking his secretary over an antique mahogany desk and offer perfunctory and insincere apologies that fool no one. For a man like this i would vote.

Walking in the park this evening i had a sudden shuddering of energy through my mind and then body – i think from the self i have outside of time. It was quiet, about 8 pm, as i walked between trees by a canal, mildly regarded by ducks and geese, ravens and crows – the latter intensely black and whimsical, curious and unalarmed by an ambulatory Elberry. The access was of orgasmic intensity, but seemed 95% mental, only incidentally physical (fingers trembling and so on). i wasn’t sure what to make of it, though i had just prayed to Woden – but then i do that very often – however, for a while i have felt that our reality is undergoing a transition, to other forms of energy. It seems to have been going on for at least a year – the magnetic field bears witness to this – and i think, in the next few months, many things will change, and many things will die. Things must change gradually, or ordinary life will become impossible – and, i guess, most people won’t really notice the change, only the further ripples.

Against this, politics seems very superficial. i wouldn’t deny that political events can have great results – but i think these events are merely the working out of deeper energies, of destruction generally. i am curious to see what will happen, as the world alters itself, or is altered; i don’t think we are living in the “end times”, but in a beginning time, when some things will end, and others begin. i think things like this have happened in the past – some of what we casually dismiss as legends, folklore, as obviously untrue, actually happened.

i am sometimes a little bemused to be living through this, aware, and even close to at least one epicenter of becoming. i don’t think there’s any point speculating too much about how things will change. The nature of the change is beyond us – it works through us, through our imaginations – but even the most lucid and far-sighted, the palantiri, to coin a noun from Tolkien, fail here. Curiously, and pleasingly, i feel some echoes of this in Rilke and Wallace Stevens, and philosophers like Heraclitus – the old guard, the true ones. They were really speculating not about our world as it is, but the world that could be – latent in ours – for we are always just becoming, other –

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