i feel different energies in winter, subtler, less physical, or less obviously so. Curious attacks of raw joy, every few days, and something like deja vu – not exactly so, it’s rather that i feel an older pattern is being reworked, often in lessons. i feel i have at last entered the right way. i spend most of my hours with managers of some kind, usually interesting, mature individuals, far from the scummy chav managers in England; though i suppose my students are mainly high level managers, not the “team leader” cretins of my past. i recall teaching an Arbeitsamt class, one of the many jobs chapters, and asking what is important in a job – one guy, who had sold medications, said “selling good quality products.” English people would have said “the salary”. i quizzed the student and he replied, sincerely, that he has to feel he is selling good quality products, that this matters. He was in his 50s, however, and so represented an older, better world. The younger generation are, on the whole, worthless scum.

One reason i hate teaching “the little bastards” (engineering apprentices, average age 19) – all they care about is money and the most obviously expensive possessions. A typical lesson:

Elberry: What will your life be like in 20 years? Tell me.

Little Bastard: I will have a big house and much car and women and good job.

Elberry: What kind of job?

Little Bastard: Egal. When it pays good it is good.

Elberry: Okay, what car will you drive?

Little Bastard: Lamborgini.

Elberry: Why?

Little Bastard: It is the best.

Elberry: Why is it the best?

Little Bastard: It costs much.

.

Little bastards. More and more i note the gap between the 20-somethings and people my age or older. The little bastards seem to come from a different world. They come into the classroom, sit down, and immediately get out their mobile phones and start to look at pornography or play computer games. They are genuinely amazed when i ask them to stop, though, increasingly, i just let them do it since the school materials are designed for adults, and so are wholly inappropriate for these 20-something children. The only problem is, some of them want to learn – but it is impossible, when 7 out of 8 want to make shit/sex/fart jokes in German, and pretty much refuse to speak in English. They are, in general, thick as pigshit and as unattractive, gross abominations, hulking brutes devoid of intelligence or character, without curiosity, passion, religion, learning. Their sole interests: pornography, computer games, cars, mobile phones, alcohol. And even there, it’s hard to elicit a cogent response.

i wish to annihilate them.

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