1. i am unutterably weary. Deathly hellish insomnia has set in, i get about 3 – 4 hours of broken sleep every night, too tense and alert for anything more. i am surrounded by ugliness and insanity and kangaroos at home, beauty at work – today, for example, i taught a 5-hour-long group, one of whom was an eerily beautiful blonde, about 6 foot tall, amazing ass, long, long legs, etc.; she had strange, elvish features, and the commendably odd first name “Grit”. She was 95% German, 5% Swedish but looked the other way round. She bought me dinner at the company canteen and i wanted to offer sex in return, but in my present state the most i could manage is to suddenly fall asleep under the table.
2. Another great student has come my way, some sort of economist at a big company, he wants elocution lessons to erase his German accent. Naturally, i assumed he was BND, but he’s certainly interesting, whatever he is. My boss suggested an elocution CD but instead we are reading ‘Burnt Norton’ together, very slowly. He seems fascinated by the poem; when i suggested moving on to ‘East Coker’ he said he just wanted to read BN over and over again. He says he can’t understand it, but he respects the concentration of thought and language, and that seems to aid his reading.
3. i’m starting to look for new digs, mainly rooms in WGs (shared flats). Although i don’t feel the kangerhaus is getting any worse, my insomnia means i’ve nearly missed one lesson thanks to getting on the wrong train, and yesterday i sleeptaught a lesson in the evening, and can only hope i didn’t do or say anything too perverted – i have no memory of any of it, only a sense of manic energy and uncontrol, unsleeping.
i go now.