1. Review of the new Transformers film. Excerpts:

I also rooted heartily that Optimus Prime was killed for real this time, since he was always a breathtakingly worthless character. Essentially he valued the humans over his own life, with the mantra “Freedom is the right of all beings”. He was so dogmatic about this that he was the least interesting hero imaginable. Even in the original cartoon, no compromise or self-reflection intrudes on his strangely self-destructive will. He is a bible school teacher, except he is okay with murdering other robots. Actually my bible school teacher was that way too. 

Since she talked about Hitler in earshot of Spielberg (only Spielberg is allowed to do that), Megan Fox has been exchanged for Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, which acting-wise is akin to trading syphilis for herpes, and metaphors aside, I suspect you would end up doing just that. There are humans in the cast, but the only stars here would be the two different shots that Bay uses,  and the CGI data banks of Bangalore. Noise! Lights! What happened! This trilogy could be just as easily titled Stuff and there would be no resulting confusion.

2. Thinking some more about Hemingway, and his self-mythologising bullshit, i reflect that he made the mistake of thinking it necessary to weave these self-aggrandizing lies. He should have shut up and told the bare truth; then, others would then have inevitably constructed the Hemingway Myth. He would have saved himself a great deal of effort, without compromising himself. But i don’t think his lies served any practical function; they were more like a psychological reflex, curiously at odds with his flat, understated prose style.

3. At my local pizzeria last night, a small boy came on the huge TV, with a gay biker ‘stache and Blue Oyster Bar leather garb, singing Queen’s ‘We Are the Champions’. It was the nastiest thing i’ve ever seen and that night i had nightmares about mice eating my books, then woke up late, convinced my first class was at 0830 when in fact it was at 0800, so i had to get ready in 10 minutes and run from s-bahn to u-bahn to get to the company on time. My brain refused to work and i had a hard first class, 90 minutes with high-level manager power women, the kind who wake up at 5 am, go for a power woman run, then a power woman swim in a frozen lake, then come to work to do some power business English. After that i felt shaken and horrid, but my second group made up for it – a class of nice, non-power women who just wanted to chat about shoes. They were originally one big group but split into two – good for me, as i get paid twice, and also because half want business English and half want “I bought a new pair of shoes” English.

i can generally teach without much thought now, being as i am a seasoned old pro(stitute), as long as i have some materials and half-willing students. The only difficulty is figuring out what the students want. i often make the mistake of judging students by past, seemingly comparable individuals, then realising they want something totally different – so some want chat, some want lots of grammar, some want business English, etc., and the difficulty is adjusting to their exact desires. Like a prostitute, i try to do a good job but every customer is different and sometimes it takes a while. i find this adjustment, the perception and then adjustment, strenuous, at times gruesomely so. i don’t really want to teach full time – i enjoy it but it’s exhausting, to be constantly attentive, alert, decorous, sane. i can do about 3 hours a day; more than that leaves me tense and useless for anything but blogging and murder.

4. Came across this website of philosophical shizznit, beeatch. A sample from his reading of Kierkegaard:

Abraham – more like Abroham – was a fucking badass. God commanded him to sacrifice his only son, after promising him descendants more numerous than the stars, and he obeyed faithfully. He didn’t just obey, he fucking obeyed – he didn’t try to go ‘above and beyond’ the will of God, or interpret it based on what he thought God should want or probably wanted; he didn’t obey resentfully or hesitantly. Bro just fucking packed up his son, built a goddamn altar, and got ready to sacrifice him, because God said so. That is fucking incredible.

Does that seem paradoxical or contradictory to you? Good. It should, and if it doesn’t then you’re not paying attention. Was that shit unethical? Of course it was, but that’s why Abraham is ten times the bro any of us is.

5. And now i must prepare for a class of power women, who demand 100% error correction, and all speak very quickly, sometimes all at once. 2 and a quarter hours in their company is enough to leave me zombified and errant. It’s far preferable to data entry, of course. i am at least a zombie capable of reading on the s-bahn home, and plotting murders and pizzas, and that is not to be slighted.

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