1. i spent the last week alternately worrying and fuming in rage about the DKV, my fraudulent medical insurance company. Now i feel indifferent. i did the runework for Eihwaz this evening; i find that to really understand a rune it must alter you; this is true perhaps of any understanding, or was at least for me at university, studying literature. So today, i understood the protective/aggressive aspect of Eihwaz – it outwaits opposition. Like Hagalaz, Naudhiz, Isa, and Jera, it is vitally to do with time; it is “time the destroyer”, an unrelenting energy (a strung bow); it shatters iron, it unmakes all. The vitki, in drawing from tradition, becomes one with the yew, a force beyond the day to day bustle of things.

Rapid, the transformation of understanding, the student altered by his study. In about half an hour i have changed completely. i must act quickly with the DKV but there is no need of hectic worry or dread. i will destroy them by my patience.

2. My attitude to magic etc. is peculiar. i came to it late, with no prior interest. As a child of the late 20th Century, some part of my mind wishes for a scientific explanation, even while i know this is not possible, or not without ignoring most of the “data”, for the data is wholly subjective, unrepeatable, and certainly not liable to empirical study and statistical analysis. i merely accept it, as it manifests to me.

3. Although i am also concerned to be a good teacher, to survive in Germany, to learn the Boschesprache, if possible to recall more of my other lives, and to write more stories, i could express all this by saying i am becoming a vitki, or sorcerer or wizard, if you like. This penetrates & controls all other endeavours. So although i want to write more fiction, i will not pimp myself, will not do cartwheels, fetch the ball, roll over & play dead, for any belly-patting publisher or editor. Publicity weakens the individual. For a vitki, secrecy and isolation are sources of power. Perhaps i should only write for myself, and if fate wishes my work to survive it will, after my death; but i feel content with blogging, without comments, as a way of thinking aloud. Nothing i write here is important; and with comments disabled i can enjoy the feeling of being not wholly isolated, yet without suffering the spittle of fools.

And so with teaching also. My students would be surprised, after a lesson of mirth and jollity, to know they were involved in a magical/religious act, that their ebullient laughter, the intoxication of language, were both natural and supernatural. But for the vitki, magic reveals itself so – as both natural and supernatural; the further one walks this path, the more natural & normal it seems; so i can see how the runes were once used as an ordinary writing script; the Aleister Crowley kind of magic – weird rituals, funny-sounding names, magic circles & swords – this is too evidently weird to be genuine. The runes lie at the heart of the supernatural and natural both. It is a matter of perspective, if one sees a magpie as magical, or a spell as ordinary; the same force drives through both, for both are part of the created world. But while i would say a tree or a bird is evidently real, evidently supernatural, and so natural, things like publicity are a kind of magic-gone-wrong, a frenzied mistake.

Ulysses wanted to hear the sirens, but did not trust himself to resist their song. The vitki would be indifferent. He would not require a counter-song, magical defences, willpower; he would just turn away in boredom.