1. Working 15 hour days 5 days a week leaves me, alas, little time for blogging or indeed anything. i’ve been using Facebook more & more and have now received two threats from FB friends in the last week (one directed at me, the other at others), hoorah. i like FB because i can receive & give comments, without worrying too much about trolls and sundry assorted people who hate and stalk me. i am having to become more careful in my FBing, as two “live” students are on my “friend” list, and others have asked how to find me (luckily, my legal name seems surprisingly common).
i don’t want comments on my blog as i seem to attract elberry-obsessed lunatics who either hate or wish to control me, in one way or another. This not even counting the drive-by comments of the “u are ovyusly gay, lol, why dont u die” variety. A considerable proportion of human beings are stupid and malign.
2. When i don’t have time or energy to blog, i quickly lose all interest. i also cease to have any ideas for posts. It seems that our tools define us to some extent, so when i write in my journal (for myself only), i write very differently to here, and have different ideas. Sometimes i think back to an intense couple of years at university, when i was 22/3 – my mind was flooded with ideas, i felt i existed in two realms, the earthly visible, and the invisible, the realm of thought. i was reading for about 5 hours a day, writing longer, more ambitious essays, and felt i had found something i was good at (little did i know i would soon become disgusted by academia and, eventually, be consigned to the trenches of minimum wage data entry). My present thoughts seem tepid in comparison. i feel i was briefly touched by a potential fire, from 1998 to 1999; and now i exist as the epilogue to myself. i am generally unperturbed by this, as i am usually too busy to reflect upon my snuffed out mental life, and i suppose i lack the brain to do so in any case.
3. i feel a total lack of interest in writing for other people. i sometimes do book reviews for the Dabbler, because then publishers send me review copies and so i don’t have to buy books, but blogging, ugh, no no no.