My internet is deadly shit and my brain deadly dull. i tried to write two blog posts at home but my surfstick cut out and WordPress decided to lose everything. “Everything” was, in this case, drunken, loquacious blogging and so not worth saving. However, i want to pass on some recent discoveries, now i’m at work and so have internet:

1. The Boxer Rebellion. Kind of like The National but less rocky. Imagine one of those horrible Rocky Road bars they sell at Starbucks – it’s like that, without the rock. Except that whereas the Rocky Road bars are abhorrent, The National are excellent and The Boxer Rebellion very good. And you can’t buy either bands at Starbucks. And you don’t eat them. And it’s not like a road.

2. George Bernard Shaw. i have a huge volume of his plays in England but never opened it. However, with my Kindle (there’s another story) i was able to download vast quantities of Shaw, GK Chesterton, PG Wodehouse, Ruskin etc. i read Pygmalion and Man & Superman; both are very good, in a slightly rigid, finger-wagging way. He insists on appending vast introductions & postscripts, to tell you what to think, but these are easily skipped. A quote from Man & Superman:

TANNER: I had no intention of suggesting anything discreditable. In fact, I am a bit of a Socialist myself.

STRAKER: Most rich men are, I notice.

MENDOZA: Quite so. It has reached us, I admit. It is in the air of the century.

3. A space pen.

That’s right. A motherfucking space pen.

Previously, my writing suffered as i was unable to write at temperatures below -49 Celsius, or for that matter, while reclining in the heart of the sun. Naturally, i couldn’t even write upside down, a sore necessity for an elberry of my calibre. i was also occasionally at a loss when i needed to write underwater.

Nor, alas, could my old pens reliably function in outer space.

Nor could they punch holes in titanium skulls.

Now normally i just use a fountain pen and try to avoid unusual situations, writing in outer space, in the sun, underwater, etc. However, i’ve begun writing a filthy book about my temping days, and as i’m using a fairly cheap notebook, and often write on the train, i need a simple ballpoint. So i bought a space pen. And behold it is badass.

4. Ein Freund Von Mir – a quite magical, weird, simple film about (as far as i could tell, given my version didn’t have English subtitles) an insurance geek who goes undercover at a car rental company, to see how it operates, how safe it is, and so on.

It stars Frederick Zoller, the sniper hero from Inglourious Basterds; and Rainer from Die Welle, a brutal, slovenly rogue in a yellow car.