i’ve been too busy to blog or write much of anything. Lots of 16 hour days, measuring work by my own standards – from the moment i get out of bed to the moment i get home, but actually only working about 10 to 12 hours a  day, with a lot of unpaid travel. In Kassel i often worked 14 hour days, in the exact 14-hours-of-teaching sense, but it would kill me now. i no longer retain any enthusiasm for teaching. Even 10 hours is too much. To concentrate on Germans with their Dinglish for 10 hours, leaping on every mistake, remaining sensitive to their moods, adapting lesson plans as you realise the talkative students aren’t coming, keeping an eagle eye out for disgruntled students (a difficult task given how naturally surly Germans appear; also, it’s often the friendly smiley ones who betray you, like the “Fuck Hitler” guy in Saving Private Ryan). i’ve had 3 complaints in the last 2 weeks.

i don’t think i had a single complaint in Kassel; in Munich i’ve had at least a dozen now, maybe more. McLingua students have complained:

1. That all we’re doing is talking.

This is because, you mouthy cunts, you had a Meetings module, where all we do is talk; and a high level where the first chapter has almost no grammar or vocab. And you complained before we got any further. You said I wasn’t really making you work, so you weren’t learning anything.

Solution: my boss told me to prepare extra materials for you, you mouthy rich cunts. So i came into McLingua 2 hours early, without pay, and would laboriously search for articles you might find interesting (i failed), and i prepared grammar each week. And then you said it was too hard.

2. That i don’t correct every single mistake.

Well, this is because in order to survive i have to work every hour i’m given, often placating screaming German shits like you, and by 1830 in the evening i’m exhausted and close to collapse or murder, and with five power fraus all talking over each other, usually ignoring my corrections, it’s pretty hard. You stupid pampered bitches.

3. That i don’t give extra hard grammar and hundreds of new words a lesson.

Because you’re already fairly high level, over 30, rarely or never use English at work or in your private life, and so your English will never improve. No matter how many times i drill you, you will never be able to spontaneously use the Present Perfect. It is a total waste of time trying to teach you anything. And you already know every fucking word you might ever need to use. All that is left are words like fumigate, supercilious, exasperated, etc. – and when i try to teach these, you say they aren’t very useful and you don’t need them. “You are not teaching us the words we need!” you bellow indignantly, you fucking German scum.

With one group like you, i keep a list of the vocab i’ve given you to date, and every lesson spend 15 minutes going over it. And you don’t remember a single fucking word. You can’t remember anything.

And then you look at me reproachfully, because clearly it must be my fault.

4. That it’s too hard.

This is because groups are rarely homogenous. You can apparently get a B2 grade and really be an A2. Companies often lump students together because they work in the same department. So you have one 25-year-old with almost perfect English, and someone 20 years older who says things like: “Ja, uh, yes, I am looking TV at the evening time with the evening eat.”

5. That it’s too easy.

See above. You idiot.

6. That they don’t get to speak enough.

This is because you are in a group and even if i only talk to ask questions and give error correction, there are several other people, some of them mouthy Germans who want to talk over everyone else. And it’s often the mouthy German bitch, who talks 50% of the time, drowning out the 4 other students, who complains that i don’t let her talk enough.

Anyway, this is my life.