i had my old surreal roleplay group again this morning. Only 4 students came, two of them new, all hot babes. It was hot and their building has no air conditioning, so i crafted the following roleplay:

Bettina – you are the head of the department. You have press-ganged Helga into fanning you all day like an oriental slave, also you send her on errands for ice cream. You are an important person and cannot be expected to work without ice cream and a personal slave.

Helga – you are pissed off. Complain to your immediate managers.

They all did very well, with  Bettina angrily shouting: “I have more work than you! I need to think and use my brain! I need clear solutions! I cannot work in this heat! I will escalate this to Dr X” etc.

2nd roleplay:

Sara and Sandra have a paddling pool in their office and do all their work therefrom. Helga is jealous and demands a paddling pool for herself. Bettina is the boss and must mediate. This produced the line: “And who will buy paddling pools? Do you think the company has money for paddling pools? I must check with Controlling!” – which, they assured me, was word for word a real life utterance, paddling pools excepted.

3rd roleplay was based on Helga”s part-time Psychology course. As background to this roleplay she was experimenting on her colleagues, poking & jibing them into fits of rage, then noting their reactions and asking intrusive questions about their sexual fantasies and childhood traumas. She would also ring them, pretending to be the police, to tell them their house had burnt down & all their loved ones dead, and then closely observe their horrified reactions, following it up with bland questions: “how did that make you feel?” and “let’s unpack this” and “did you ever have sexual fantasies about a burning house?” She would also present them with important documents which would, however, just be grotesque and suggestive Rorschach drawings (eviscerated mules etc.) and then demand to know their immediate associations & feelings.

This last was a classic. Helga improvised a book she was writing about her colleagues; also, she had written an article for a Psychology journal and posted it on the company intranet, with her subjects’ photos and email & phone, which they did not greatly appreciate.

“But you are very interesting subjects,” she protested, convincingly i thought, “you are important for my psychological research. Many psychologists are very interested in your mental problems and want to meet you too. We have a conference just about you.”

This was a good lesson.

Later it rained and i went to Mclingua and sat on a window ledge in an empty room, looking out at all the wet t-shirts and tempted to shout: “Run Charlie, run!”