1. Still alive, though i know you are after me, hunting high & low for my spoor, salivating with hatred. You cannot stop me, you can only momentarily impede my progress. It’s been a hard couple of months as everything goes awry and fall apart. My work is drying rapidly up so i have almost no classes and three of them end in the next couple of weeks, round about my 37th birthday, leaving me with ashes and death. Meanwhile:

i) my watch needs a new battery

ii) a button fell off my coat

iii) my tap is leaking

iv) i need a haircut

v) my tax assistant person still hasn’t done my taxes for 2011 even though the Finanzamt are haranguing & slobbering after me

vi) i ordered several books (Paul Celan, George Steiner, Thomas Bernhard) which have apparently been thrown into a ditch by the Royal Mail

vii) my physical coordination suggests i have become a spacker, as i twice bumped into people while racing through the underground, highly irregular retardedness on my part, also i somehow nearly glassed myself with a glass of Prosecco

viii) my shit HP Officejet 6000 printer just broke. i bought it about 9 months ago for 90 quid, it ran out of black ink almost immediately, so i bought more for half the price of the printer; i then set the fucking thing to only use black ink but it nonetheless last week told me it had no colour ink and so couldn’t work AT ALL, FOR ANYTHING, EVEN FOR BLACK AND WHITE!!! So i bought new coloured inks, ersatz cheapo ones for 20 Euros as the originals are 50 or more. It then broke and now i have this enormous piece of stupid junk which i have to throw onto the street. 9 months and about 150 Euros, there’s modernity for you.

2. i also abandoned Disgust, my latest failed novel. i feel it is impossible to write anything at present and can only lurk and brood and stroke my knees, watching, waiting and watching.