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i’ve set up a second blog for what i call satire, but others may call tedious drivel. At first i thought of simply posting these pieces here, but then people would probably be unable to tell the difference between my hate-filled rants about Muslim rapists/Left-wing scum, and my satirical attempts. i’ll try and update it at least once a week, so far i have a backlog of things i want to write about in this form, and so may update more frequently, till i run out of elberry-juice.

Anyway, here it is.


1. Yesterday was 20 April – a very special person’s birthday! Joel Zuckerberg? Sid James? Steve Job? Obano? “Pope” Francis? Hugo Chavez? Russell Brand?


Adolf Hitler.

That’s right, Führertag!


In many ways, our culture is both a reversal and continuation of Nazi Germany. Continuation: the idea that an all-embracing, all-seeing Government can and indeed should regulate everything, with regular wars and persecution of pre-selected groups (Jews and Commies and Christians and conservatives then, whites and heterosexuals and Christians and conservatives now). Reversal: Nazi ideology, such as it was, is a Nietzschean/Darwinian melange, survival of the most brutal – weakness taken as sign of inferiority (odd, given the physical and mental ailments of the Nazi leadership). The Nazis liked to present Germans as hard-done-by, more sinned against than sinning, but victimhood itself was a sign of inferiority – as Hitler allegedly said in his last days, if the Russians could defeat the Wehrmacht, then the German people had no right to exist.

2. In our culture, victimhood is a mark of pride, to be held high and flourished, forsooth. i suspect this is the first time in human history that people are proud to be victims, and in which a victim economy encourages the falsification of grievance. Such fancies could only come to pass in a soft, late civilisation; they would be impossible in a warrior culture, or any culture with an awareness of the essentially savage and merciless nature of things, over which civilisation is a difficult and fragile facade. In “nature”, an animal which rolls onto its back, whining, feigning terrible injuries in order to excite pity, would be promptly gobbled up by the nearest predator.

i find the adoration of strength and the warrior tedious after a while, if that’s all a culture has (5th C BC Athens would have been a far more interesting place than Sparta). The adoration of weakness and the (often professional) victim is, however, a truly disgusting spectacle. The black disabled “identifies as a unicorn” tranny rolling on its back whimpering about white privilege, while secretly licking its fangs, is only possible in a society that coddles and positively encourages the weak, the deviant, the mentally disturbed. i see it, as with much of the Left, as a perversion of Christianity – in this case, a caricature of Christian pity, which Nietzsche presciently lambasted.

This will go the way of all such decadence – destroyed by the dreary warrior culture of Islam, invited into Europe by the professional victims and the Social Justice priesthood. In this, the Left reveal that they have no interest in equality, fair treatment of gays and women, since Muslims are not renowned for their tolerance of sexual minorities, other religions, or their respect for women. The Left is, rather, a cancer in the West, set on the destruction of civilisation, and they see the Muslims as useful tools. But then, they seem to imagine that after the Muslims have burnt down every church, murdered every white man, they will then suddenly break out the tandoori tapas, llamas, sombreros, yoga, tantric sex, and saris and start singing and dancing en masse in the socialist paradise where no one works and everyone lives in a mansion:

The lyrics would run something like:

oh beautiful feminist!

oh wise tranny!

oh magnificent gay/lesbian/bisexual!

oh socialist oh communist oh Marxist!

you are so wonderful!

you invited us to dance for you!

we dance for you, we dance for you, we dance for you!

the white man is dead

the Jew is dead

the Christian and the Sikh and the Buddhist and Confucian are dead

we killed them all!

for you for you for you!

now we are so happy

allahu akhbar!

happy forever forever forever!

3. Curiously, i don’t think about the past that much, don’t feel in any way implicated in the actions of my ancestors, or even in the actions i undertook before this life. Perhaps this shrugging disavowal is necessary (for me at least) to remember anything, since i would otherwise be burdened with judgements on my finished lives.

The Left seem to look on the past purely as a source of guilt and blame, perhaps because the protected “minorities” haven’t generally accomplished much they can point to with pride (relative to white males). i suppose i could try to feel proud that my father’s forebears were Brahmin, and so genetically übermensch, and my mother’s were Anglo-Saxon, and so genetically above the global average, but actually i don’t care, nor would i accept blame because people vaguely related to my white mother colonised India, nor would i accept preferential treatment because my father is Indian, hence oppressed and colonised, though it would be amusing to try and feel both simultaneously, and Harvey Two-Face style constantly accuse and apologise to myself.

For the Left, every past civilisation is an abomination, and perhaps only tribal illiterate societies escape censure – ignoring the warfare and slavery practiced by the Africans against each other long before the White Devil arrived. Actually, there is one civilisation the Left favour – the Soviet Union, the workers’ paradise which sadly only failed due to Jews, fascists, and Capitalist saboteurs, but nonetheless a glorious experiment that we simply must repeat – this time with more gulags, more secret police, better indoctrination, more surveillance, more laws and harsher punishments.

4. Yesterday, i told my Arbeitsamt (Job Centre) group: “It’s Hitler’s birthday today.” This came as news to them, though one of them redeemed their collective ignorance by saying, “Congratulations. Happy birthday”, inciting much mirth. Later, in the teacher room one of my colleagues was talking about a 80-something teacher who worked in a school Hitler had praised: “and, my God, she brags about this!” Everyone looked horrified, except me. “That’s awesome!” i enthused. “i would brag about that!” “Don’t get him started,” California Jesus moaned, for i have fully embraced the Left-wing ideology of self-identification and “racism”, and have now self-identified as a black disabled Palestinian Muslim trannie and since racism is prejudice plus power, and as a black disabled Palestinian Muslim trannie i have no power, i can basically say and even do what i want, and no one can say shit. For example, i started offering phrenological notes to colleagues on the dimensions of their skulls and their ranking in my personal racial scale of value, and i accused an Irish alcoholic ex-colleague of being “a traitor to the white race” after she cheated on her German boyfriend and had sex with a Muslim security guard at a migrant camp where she works in Berlin. As you would expect, my colleagues gave me a “but…you’re blek” look, and indeed i am blek, i am in fact a disabled black Palestinian trannie unicorn, and so have no power, and hence cannot be racist, and so now indulge in frankly rather baroque racial theories and phrenological observations. i’m planning to start talking about the secret Nazi base in the Arctic next week.

5. As a freak of nature (don’t like football, don’t drink beer, don’t even drink alcohol now, plus i like to read) i have little stake in any society, and am resigned to the destruction of the West. My objection to the Left and their whining victim culture is more a matter of sorcerous principle. Castaneda is right to liken the sorcerer to a warrior, for in a time of war any self-indulgence, weakness, distraction, sloth, is a fatal error. War, as i found in my last life, can compress and focus a loose, incoherent character. War gives purpose, and it is only with this directed will that one can attain to power and knowledge. Some passages i read this week in Castaneda:

i) The hardest thing in the world is to assume the mood of a warrior. It is of no use to be sad and complain and feel justified in doing so; believing that someone is always doing something to us.

Nobody is doing anything to anybody, much less to a warrior.

ii) Self-importance is man’s greatest enemy. What weakens him is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of his fellow men. Self-importance requires that one spend most of one’s life offended by something or someone.

For the vitki, life is war – he is at war against his own ignorance, his sloth, his self-indulgence, his self-pity. He must become taut and directed, ruthless to himself and others. If he is a victim he does not ask for preferential treatment, he simply strives to escape his conditions through his own work; or if this is not possible, he strives to develop internal resistance to his troubles. The last thing he does is to expect others to help, and he would rather be destroyed than to roll on his back and whimper.




i was deleting old text (SMS) messages and decided some of them should be made public, Panama Papers style for the public good. These are all texts i sent to Toddball, in their entirety:

1. Cocaine & high blood pressure. Ask him about the time disabled kids carried him through a forest like a heathen god. (27 April 2012)

2. His mother is really weird. He broke his suitcase and set a luggage label on fire. Also he did a lot of batman impressions. (1 August 2012)

3. i’m a dirty gippo. (5 October 2012)

4. That’s because she’s a Russian whore. (3 December 2012)

5. Am too drunk to move. (24 October 2015)

And here are some texts i have received & kept for posterity:

1. Michael just got THE WORST nose bleed while we were on the craziest, tallest ride at spring fest. Blood was shooting out his face all over the place while we spun in circles, screaming. His face, arms, my left arm, his seat, all covered in blood. Then later he puked up the blood that he swallowed during the ride. (27 April 2012, from Toddball)

2. Indeed, am in flat pondering loss of consciousness. (11 July 2012, from Viking)

3. Don’t bring home any dead animals. (28 December 2012, from Juniper)

4. Fine and better than murdered by an axe. See you next week. (15 April 2013, from a Marketing manager at a big tobacco company)

5. I’m getting wasted at that little shit hole establishment by X-str. That filthy little whore that you love is here. I think she’s a junky of some sort. I just won 14 euro on video roulette. Life is good. (1 July 2013, from Toddball)

6. I told this kid that I would beat him bloody then hold him down and put my finger in his ass. Not cause I’m gay but so his friends can see, and talk about how they saw some strange man from Chicago come and make him his bitch for the rest of his life. (2 October 2013, from Toddball)

7. Sabine is one damn fine-ass piece of schnitzel. (16 October 2013, from Toddball)

8. the last words I heard were “Peruvian whore” (16 October 2013, from Toddball)

9. The Cop: We gotta Elberry out of here…

Me: Wait, what?! why!?

The Cop: These guys came here lookin for trouble. They plan on fighting, I’m sure of it. We gotta get Elberry to safety.  (31 March 2014, from Toddball, reporting on a beer garden conversation with The Cop, the latter sure some Germans were going to jump me after i told them to fuck off)

10. last nights Stammtisch may have been the best stammtisch ever. all star cast including all the legendary teachers and none of the shite (11 April 2014 from Toddball)

11. and by shite I mean new teachers. I hate those fucks. (11 April 2014 from Toddball)

12. if he’s wearing his blue leather jacket then the threat is real (24 May 2014, from Toddball)

13. do you dance at concerts or just stand there nodding rhythmically with one hand in your pocket and the other clutching a whiskey? (2 June 2014, from Toddball)

14. Just spoke to the Reichsmarschall, says he wouldn’t have it! So better think of a proper excuse for Göring. (20 October 2014, from Der Fechter, a politician/fencer friend)

15. I called one girl a Schweinbauerin and her friend a Dumme Gans. (19 December 2014, from Toddball)

16. I felt like I was turning into a lizard. (3 January 2015, from Toddball)

17. Spawning an evil baby destined to rule over hordes of teacher scum like us. (5 January 2015, from Toddball)

18. bring a bullhorn (16 April 2015, from The Cop)

1. i’ve given up on booze and feel distinctly odd, and even healthy. Over Easter i felt i’d damaged my gut with years of immoderate boozing, and so stopped for a week. The old Elberry gut is still reluctant to take much food, which is fine as i was 1.5 stone overweight, disgustingly obese by my standards though no one else seemed to even notice. My body has apparently reset to my pre-teaching levels of booze, i.e. i can go without alcohol and my tongue now responds to whisky like a maiden aunt thrust into Al Swearengen’s fine establishment – a bracingly unusual situation, to be taken in exceedingly small doses. Before beginning to teach full-time (six years ago), i drank perhaps a glass or two of red wine an evening (with food), and got through a bottle of whisky every 3 weeks, when i had the money for it. At my teacherly height, in Kassel, i was getting through 2 glasses of red wine an evening, and a bottle of whisky every 2 or 3 days. Curiously, my body seemed able to take it without the slightest ill effects, perhaps because i only started heavy drinking aged 34.

Having drunk almost nothing for 2 weeks, i realise how much alcohol structured my free time. The weekend would pass in a blur of gin, wine, whisky, as if alcohol itself were companion. i don’t feel at all lonely without my old guide, but time takes on a different quality. For one thing, i need less sleep now, so have an extra 2 or so hours every evening, and in general much more physical energy and desire to perform noble deeds (murder, etc.).

This is typical of me – i lack any real discipline and only adopt what seem unusual courses due to necessity (the ox is driven to pasture by blows). When i want to do something that requires any discipline, i have to create a situation with the apt necessity, e.g. i take a German book (at the moment, Joseph Roth’s Radetzky March) with me, along with my Kindle, and since my bag is usually too heavy, i feel obliged to read some of the German book to justify lugging it around all day. i am a little envious of those who can discipline themselves, but then perhaps it isn’t really natural – why, in nature, would anyone do something they don’t have to? Of course, most such disciplines are undertaken not for pleasure, but for future profit.

2. i’ve been studying IQ and race in my dilettantish way via youtube. There seem to be significant differences between IQ between racial groups – or if you don’t like the word “race”, between groups sharing physical characteristics which everyone can objectively observe. One theory for the differences is that the climate and culture of colder countries weeds out those who don’t go for discipline and long-term planning, so the impulsive or lazy find no food or shelter come winter. i suppose it’s a complex of factors, often with a feedback loop, so certain practices develop due to landscape and climate, and then these practices encourage certain character types, and discourage others, and over time these practices become a culture (or civilisation) which replaces climate as primary influence.

It would be interesting to compile statistics of crime according to migrant group, for i notice that in Germany most rapes, thefts, and assaults are committed by Iraqi, North African, Afghan, and Syrian “refugees”. i suppose if, 6 months ago, you lived in a country where everyone carries an AK-47 and if you see something you want you kill whoever has it, Germany must seem like a Disneyland of potential rape and pillage. There is a reason Muslim women are stuffed in burqas and jealously guarded by their male relatives – because for these people, if you want to fuck a woman, you just rape her and it’s her own fault for going out on her own. A sentiment, curiously, more or less shared by feminists, as long as the rapist is Muslim – the feminist  Mayor of Cologne basically said the mass sex assaults on New Year’s Eve were the women’s fault for, well, not being stuffed in burqas and guarded by male relatives with AK47s, and by the way we should all welcome the 3rd World because they will enormously enrich our culture, and if you don’t agree you are a racist.

3. i haven’t seen any news reports of rapes, assaults, or robberies committed by Eritreans, yet there are plenty of them in Munich, looking hapless and bewildered. As far as i can tell, their country is a 3rd World hellhole but for some reason they either aren’t committing many crimes in Germany, or haven’t been reported on yet (i suspect the former). i had to help one buy cigarettes in the supermarket a few months ago, he was staring at the vending machine with utter incomprehension, and in general the Eritreans i’ve seen here look as if they just woke up one morning to find themselves in Munich – one of the cleanest, safest, richest cities in Europe, with probably the most beautiful women, and have no idea what’s going on or whether it’s good or bad.

The other migrant groups – who generally look Afghan or Pakistani to me – are very different, with a look of swaggering and predatory contempt for the Germans who are paying for them to rape, steal, and murder. Several of them exude a feral criminality and clearly bear a capacity for extreme violence – it happened even at work, as i was in the corridor when the rapists came out of their classroom (supposedly learning German), and i found myself locking eyes with a bearded Afghan male, early 20s, very healthy and untraumatised and unrefugee-looking, and noticeably bigger than the others. i recognised the capacity for lethal violence in him, and he recognised that i’m not a German mangina. Perhaps, i thought, i am being a bigot once again, and paranoid to boot. However, when i went into the teacher room and told Toddball, – One of them Mooslim rapists looks like a motherfucking killer, Toddball responded promptly, – The one with the beard? Yeah, I noticed him too.

It’s a difference between German manginas and people from Huddersfield or Chicago or Brooklyn – many of the English teachers have been in scrapes and altercations and fights back home, and so have learnt to recognise potential violence in others; you would have to look long and hard to find a German with any such sensitivity.

4. i was discussing weaponry with the Kurgan the other day, he already has a longsword and expandable baton in his house, and a fat and dangerous-looking cat, his wife has pepper spray, and he is thinking of getting a weapon’s license for something more serious. Conversation ran as follows:

Kurgan: There gives a small weapon license for gas guns, and heavy weapon for real guns.

elberry: i was thinking of getting a box, putting your cat in it, then opening one side of the box and poking the beast so it launches itself claws-first at the rapists.

Kurgan: That is also possible.

elberry: Or putting some hungry aggressive rats in a sack and carrying it everywhere, and when the Mooslims start to rape, just open the sack and throw it at them.

Kurgan: That is against hygiene regulations.

elberry: Or getting a tomahawk and a crossbow and saying i need them for my religion, some Mooslim starts screaming Allahu Akhbar and raping small boys and women on the u-bahn, not to worry, i pull the old crossbow out and give him a bolt through the head, then run over with the tomahawk and start hacking away.

Kurgan [to his wife]: This is why we need laws against weapons in Germany. Because of people like Elberry.

i already have a modest armoury of legal weaponry. i’m not sure how long it will take before we have Rwanda-style slaughters in Germany – there are perhaps a million military-age 3rd World Muslim men sponging off the German taxpayer, and more will be coming each month thanks to “Mutti Merkel” (a crack-addled mother who invites a string of abusive boyfriends to rape her children). Given the ferocity of the average 3rd World Muslim, i think Germany will collapse into Rwandan or Balkan-style genocide and mass rape as soon as the Muslims feel strong and numerous enough to rise up against the generally sheep-like whites – already i think if France’s Muslims (7.5% of the population, comprising 70% of the prison inmates) rose up, the whites would just sit there grinning about diversity and tolerance as they were raped and slaughtered. An aggressive, and ideologically-motivated minority can overpower a docile majority with ease, and if you think e.g. liberal Sweden couldn’t possibly turn Muslim, consider Iran in 1970 and Iran today.

i foresee the collapse of Western Europe in the next few years, the lucky few escaping to Trumpica, Eastern Europe, South Korea, or Japan. Perhaps the destruction of Britain, France, Belgium, Germany, Austria, the Netherlands, Spain, Portugal, Italy, Scandinavia, will encourage the Eastern European states, and we will have an inversion of the Iron Curtain, with the hitherto free countries being under Muslim subjugation, collapsed states with a white population maintained purely for rape purposes by the Muslim overlords, and the ex-USSR bloc will be havens of European civilisation, protecting their borders against incursions from the scimitar-waving armies of Mordor Merkel.

i considered trying to learn Japanese, since the Muslims will find it harder to invade an island, and but after 6.5 years trying to learn the Bosche, i feel i should probably just die here, wielding my sack of rats and my tomahawk as the bearded hordes close in. i have, after all, had a quite enjoyable few years in Germany and so it is only fitting to perish here.

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