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Am off to Kassel for a few days, won’t be able to post as my hostess has a 10-year-old computer which can barely start up. i wrote an Elberried post last night here.
1. i just read Varg Vikernes’ Sorcery & Religion in Ancient Scandinavia, a good & interesting read. As far as i can tell, he believes the old gods don’t exist, and are just names people gave natural forces: “built like all religions are on ignorance and delusions” (p 120). In this sense, Thor would be like gravity, a name we give to a phenomenon, a pattern of observable force.
It could be that if every single human being ceased to exist, the gods would too, but such a world would not concern me; and there are even older gods still wandering around, long after anyone worshipped them.
The comfortingly sane and sanitized view would be that the human subconscious produces certain archetypes, including gods, and these are merely aspects of our own collective mind. My own view is a little different: – we could be seen as aspects of the gods, or vice versa, or both us & the gods are merely manifestations of the universe. In any case, to consciously regard the gods as merely convenient illusions would be to limit the possibilities of revelation and concourse.
2. i finished watching Game of Thrones, impressed. i’ve read various Christian accounts of the show/books, lambasting it for nihilism etc., but these seem very superficial judgements. Modern Christians enjoy living in a bubble of middle class niceness & propriety, where everyone reads CS Lewis and pays his taxes on time. i found the first book tedious but the show is a different beast. i note that a type of Thor appears – the so-called Hound, a scarred killer:
He has a monstrous brother and is something of a monster himself; like Thor, the giant slayer who is himself giant, a ferocious gobbler of food and quaffer of ales:
This summer, apropos the migrant rape horde, the Man in Black told me: “If the old gods are connected to the land and the European peoples, then they might have something to say about it.” i don’t know of any life where i was given to the Germanic gods – though to a cousin-god from an older pantheon – and am genetically only half-European, so if the Old One could reach into my mind back in 2008 (fittingly, after re-reading Tolkien for the first time since my 2001 dissertation), i suppose others could follow.
3. On the subject of Tolkien, i came across a fragment of his, The New Shadow, very close to a story i was toying with this time last year, set 3 generations after the War of the Ring – in my idea, the peoples of the West have become soft and effeminate and are welcoming orcs into their lands, firstly to do the jobs they are too soft for, and then because they hate their own culture, and regard Aragorn, Gandalf et al. as terrible racists and barbarian who we should all be ashamed of, and orcs are so wonderful and exotic and we should have more of them around, and there’s such a nice little orc restaurant just around the corner in an ethnic neighbourhood, where they all speak orcish, such a romantic, exotic language, and little Tristan’s nanny is an orc, such a hard worker, she cleans the toilets and everything!
The Tolkien tale is on similar lines. An old man, Borlas, talks with a younger, Saelon. Borlas is youngest son of a minor character in The Return of the King, many decades before. Saelon is a faintly sinister young man who seems involved in “secret societies practising dark cults, and ‘orc-cults’ among adolescents” (Tolkien’s brief introduction).
Saelon invites Borlas to join him:
‘I warn you rather to clothe yourself warmly after nightfall,’ he said. ‘That is, if you wish to learn more; for if you do, you will come with me on a journey tonight. I will meet you at your eastern gate behind your house; or at least I shall pass that way as soon as it is full dark, and you shall come or not as you will. I shall be clad in black, and anyone who goes with me must be clad alike.
and then departs. Borlas wonders alone:
why invite me to go with him? Not to convert old Borlas! Useless. Useless to try: no one would hope to win over a man who remembered the Evil of old, however far off.
Tolkien was realistic about human nature, and regarded Sauron as merely one concentration of evil, in a fallen world. There seems a natural life cycle of cultures, so one has, for example, Athens and the other Greek states rallying (more or less) together against
the Muslim Persia between about 492 and 479 BC, glorious glorious, and then you have Sparta and Athens ripping Greece apart in the Peloponnesian War starting 431 BC. A young soldier at Plataea would have been in his late 60s when Greece destroyed itself – so, two generations, more or less. The memories fade and unless carefully preserved, in art, in literature, all our ancestors fought for is cast aside as of no value, much as the Viking immediately smashes and burns anything he is given, or just throws it into a ditch or leaves it on a bus or in a homosexual brothel church.
i was born a generation (almost exactly) after my closest last life, and so by the time i was a man i was already in an alien world, a world that despised everything held good before my last death. However, i remember “the evil of old”, and am undeceived by the new.
4. The Left triumphed long ago, but because their self-identity is of permanent revolution, and because so many Feminist Diversity Outreach Professors would lose their jobs if they admitted they have won, it is necessary to fabricate new atrocities: so Halloween dog costumes are sexist, and so on. i note that the Left seems to have swung so far into spiritual evil that a fair number of feminists, SJWs, etc., are clearly insane. Of the three Borderline people i know (all women), two are open borders, globalist, EU, Social Justice Warrior types, the third being almost mentally retarded and so, luckily, uninterested in anything except food. Every rabid Leftie i know seems to have a childhood of physical and sometimes sexual abuse, which has filled them with permanent hatred for their culture and origins.
In the past, such people would be recognised as insane or at least highly damaged individuals. Any European who hates European culture, and even their own genetic inheritance, is hardly likely to be capable of clear and objective thought on the matter, because they hate that from which they came. They should leave Europe and go live in Pakistan or Liberia, where they can be
raped to death by sand peoples happy among the authentic poor.
At least someone like Thomas Bernhard (father apparently a rapist who died in WW2, mother naturally seems to have hated the child) formed a connection with his grandfather, and rooted himself in a 19th Century Europe. But the modern Left would happily destroy everything of Europe, because they are spiritually as well as clinically insane. Bernhard was half-mad, but only half.
i predicted Trump had a good chance of winning the election several months ago, and everyone thought i was letting my contrarian disposition get the better of me. But i think he is part of a trend – not so much to “the Right” as to normalcy; and although he looks like a radioactive wild boar, his vices and crimes are thoroughly ordinary. Bill Clinton allegedly raped dozens of women, and liked to bite their faces till they bled; Trump on his own admission likes to grab women by the pussy, and they let him do it because he’s so damn Trump. They probably lined up to be groped by that wild boar.
Well, you’d have to add elements of Wall Street to Trump’s, and if you look deeper Clinton’s film would be a paedophile snuff movie, but at least on the surface you can probably divide many of their supporters into those who would rather watch Porky’s or Ghostbusters 2016.
5. Discussing all this with an East German student, i said that no matter how rich the enemy may be, even George Soros can’t control a world where the culture changes against him and his ilk. The student, a typical German atheist, adduced as example that he insisted his daughter be baptised Catholic – because now our culture is clearly threatened, not merely from within by the Left, but from without by literally millions of military-age 3rd World rapists, that which formed European culture becomes valuable.
i think there will be, increasingly, spontaneous turnings away from the modern insanity, probably the men first, since women tend to either be hobbits (believing everyone is nice and friendly and we don’t need borders or police), or rabid shrieking Feminists, but it will happen, and i will live through the change. i don’t predict a return to capitalism, nor to some kind of fascism, but rather some new form will emerge – probably be rather a bloody affair, but then that has always been the way of things.
1. As per my submission to the Almighty, i now have a lot of one-on-one students on whom to sate my vile & teacherly lusts. With one, by name Corinne, late-30s, married, little baby called Rudolf, unemployed, bearing an odd resemblance to the first girl i fell in love with 20 years ago, i discuss dobermannry and fascism and the nature of male violence, e.g:
Elberry. How are you? You look beat.
Corinne: Rudolf was moaning for hours, and I tried everything, I am seeing if he needs food or changing, but he moans and moans. At the Kita (creche) they say he is fine, everything good, and then we come home and he starts moaning.
Elberry: I see. [thoughtful pause] Well, what i found with dobermanns, is that they get bored if you don’t take them for long walks, then they prowl around eating the walls and howling. You should take him hunting. Does he have any Barbour apparel?
Corinne: But he is only 15 months old.
Elberry: Well obviously, you don’t want to start with bear-hunting.
2. We were talking about money and she said that, having never had any, she doesn’t think about it overly; but her husband (studied Music & Journalism and now miraculously has a job on a classical music magazine) comes from a wealthy family and is always worrying about money and compares himself to his far-wealthier siblings and parents. i said that i have largely ceased to worry about money, and just accept that if i am to die, i will die; and if i get enough work, i will live. Lunatic as this sounds, it has worked the last 12 years, i.e. since i stopped taking money from the G and began working.
This is likewise why i give nothing to charity. A very Germanic do-gooder young woman intercepted me on the street in my ‘hood, trying to get me to part with coin. First i asked if she was lost, since i’ve never before seen Chuggers in my village; then she switched to English and started going on about starving black children. i told her i had only 7 Euros in my bank and had had to use my UK credit card to buy a train ticket for the month. She continued grinning and babbling about starving black children, and how i could give as little as 25 cents a day.
Elberry: i already owe 10 grand to my UK credit card, and you want me to give you MORE money?
Chugger [close to tears]: But they are children!
Elberry: Lady, i don’t care about these children. i don’t know them. They may not even exist. i only care about people i know.
Then i fixed her with The Elberry Stare, and stalked magisterially off, to find i’d actually been paid and had enough money to buy gin and give money to starving black children, so i went and bought gin and then went home and made myself a pretty good g & t and read esoteric fascist literature in peace & quiet.
Talking about this to another one-on-one student, a Croatian called Zlatko, i said i pay my taxes every year and haven’t asked anything from the G since i began work in 2004. i survived the difficult 6 months in Kiel, after inlingua fired me without warning or explanation, and the many slow months in Munich, because i have a credit card, and because some people (mostly the Viking and my mother) value me enough to lend me money, money i am frankly unlikely to ever be able to repay.
When i try to save money, something bad always happens, as witness 2012 when i ill-advisedly went to visit the Communist in France, had a nearly-fatal asthma attack (he collects birds as pets, toxic to my lungs), and all my savings were in one stroke wiped out.
i therefore just try to live month to month and assume the world will end soon and all of this will be meaningless. And i trust that if you are a decent(ish) human being, you don’t need charity, because people will like you and help you; and i don’t require some all-encompassing bureaucracy to care for every possible situation. i am willing to trust the Almighty, and avoid the Government and the Left as much as an Elberry can.
3. Because it is otherwise impossible to understand the internet, i have begun watching Game of Thrones. i read the first 900-page volume in 2009, started the second but after 150 pages realised i hadn’t enjoyed a single page and stopped. The TV show is far superior, i might say as superior as the Lord of the Rings films were inferior to the book. i’m on Season 6 now. For me, the show is concerned with weakness, the failure of planning & the undermining of strength, and the new possibilities of those denuded of their strength – thus far the character arc of Jaime Lannister who begins as a smirking apple polisher Southron, the consummate warrior and Beckham, a feared killer and golden boy all-rounder:
is then broken and defiled, and then becomes a far more interesting character, a man without strength.
In his weakness, robbed of all that had made him great, he creates a bond with another character, and becomes a truly new human being, with the ironic complexity of the newly-made-weak, e.g. when he and a warrior face several enemies, the warrior asks “how many can you take?” and Jaime replies, “Maybe one. If he’s slow.”
But in a spiritual sense, our weakness is our potential.
i have noted that my most interesting life-stages coincide with my weaknesses, with abnegation & acceptance, so talking with Corinne about money i reflected that in at least two of my other lives i could have bought my way out of almost anything, and now i can’t even pay my rent; and this amused me, albeit somberly, for i seem the more open to the divine, the more i disengage from worldly strength.
4. On Thursday morning, walking to a new class, i was thinking about genetic inheritance and Shrekh, my Pakistani Muslim (now militant atheist) school friend, who was born in Britain, raised by uneducated working class Pakistani parents who seemed honest enough to me; but nonetheless Shrekh & his sisters all shoplifted without shame, seemingly for fun, and Shrekh at school would occasionally masturbate through his trousers when he saw the 6th Form girls; in his mid- 20s he got to know some girl and threatened to kill her, then told me he felt sorry for his words, feeling he was acting like “a typical Paki”. Did his father at some point take him aside and say, “now son, when you see a white bitch you must start to masturbate, and if she talks to you, you must threaten to kill her if she disobeys you”? i found this unlikely.
So as i was walking to my class, i wondered if such behaviour could be on some level genetic, a thought i have long resisted as seeming too close to the Dune genetic theory, in which every ancestor’s mind resides in our blood. But since i doubt anyone taught him to semi-openly masturbate at women, and to steal, and these are hallmarks of the Merkel Muslims, i began to wonder if even 10th-generation Pakistanis would still act in this way, no matter their cultural environment. Certainly, if one considers the crime statistics for blacks in America, and Muslims in Europe, it seems so.
So anyway, i was brooding darkly on Pakistani culture, and then came to my class and found several new students, one a 50-something Pakistani – the first new Pakistani i’ve talked to in a decade – he seemed nervous about me, a reaction i’ve mostly experienced in students from highly authoritarian backgrounds.
He came to Germany as a student in the 80s, and has a real job. i asked if he felt his character had changed after 30 years in the Reich, he said it had, he had taken on German habits of order, punctuality, etc. He remarked once on Pakistan and India as British colonies, and i got the feeling he was one of the darkies like my father, who belong to that specifically upper-class strata of educated subjects, not English and not exactly Indian/Pakistani. On the whole i got a good feeling and liked him, though if he gives me a rucksack and asks me to take it to the Bavarian Parliament i will whip out my Uzi pen and use it without delay or restraint.
5. Later that day, i taught a Spaniard at a big IT company and, talking about the complacency of the West, i referred to Varg Vikernes’ video, describing him as “a black metal musician who murdered another musician and spent 15 years in prison, and now lives in France”. My point was that Varg has the kind of strength developed through deprivation (15 years in prison), through worldly opposition (a Muslim could have committed exactly the same crimes and got 9 months’ probation at most), and he is neither good nor evil, but just himself, and that this is the model of man the survivor, in a world before & after the State. i described him as “unlike most today, an individual” and since my Spaniard student looked slightly unnerved, i added, “of course, a dangerous individual, but then every true individual can be dangerous.”
About 24 hours later, Varg released this video:
6. There have been a few such “synchronicities” of late, where my thoughts or my words are then soon echoed or modified in some fashion. i find these times come and go, but they are always interesting, as suggesting a greater order to our reality – not, i think, a necessarily moral order, though the Pakistani student seemed provided to correct my assumption that all Pakistanis will always remain essentially Muslim, publicly masturbating and stealing and so on.
This is, i think, to do with the divine – that the ordinary & habitual sychnronicity of our lives, that structuring mechanism of time & space, becomes meaningful when one’s attention is given to a god. This necessitates an acceptance of extra-worldly motive and intervention, and can appear as weakness & irresolution, to the worldly.
The Left is a fairly new phenomenon, i would say it is merely one aspect of the Machine Age, along with every totalitarian regime (including Nazism): the desire to make the individual, and society, as mechanical and ordered and transparent as possible, cogs in the great machine. In this order, nothing may be left to chance.
i was born in this world, but have come to accept the raw and unmediated nature of things, before the gods. It is a headier atmosphere, on the mountain ways, where you may become homeless, be required to take your own life, be destroyed, but the great uncertainty comes with great freedom and the possibilities of magic and true power, a power surpassing magic as magic surpasses worldly understanding.
To renounce the apparent security of the worldly, of the Leftist bureaucracy, and stand alone before uncertainty and the gods – that requires a Varg-like wildness and character, or, in my case, the weakness & persistence of one who can be broken and despised, and yet survive. i no longer expect anything of the world of man, and the dream of the Left – an all-encompassing prison planet where the Elite quaff champagne in their well-furnished Government offices, and dole out justice and mercy to the reprobate & deserving – that disgusts me, that is a Tower of Babel fantasy and would, if somehow achieved, only produce the half-men of the Left, weaklings and sniveling hysterical degenerates, i.e. Social Justice Warriors, Feminists. But it will fail and fail hard, as foretold of yore in Genesis 11, and as witnessed in the socialist hell of the USSR, and latterly Venezuela.
The awakening will come hard to many.