update: Varg just posted a video about his time in the Middle East, so i inserted the link, and here’s an embed:
1. i feel i’ve finally finished my 15-years-of-tedium Bildungsroman, The Better Maker. i’ve done 3 edits this month, and though there were still things to change in the last, and i even found two mistakes (which had passed unnoticed through a dozen or more edits), i feel it’s stabilised and become crystalline and itself. Not sure if i’ll bother self-publishing it, i might just print it out so i have a paper copy and then forget about it. While i think it’s good enough, i am under no illusions as to my worth, and so feel no need to push my writings at anyone. i’ve even enjoyed writing brief pieces for my Patreons, because of the limited audience. My ideal, i suppose, would be to write only for myself, but i am, in spite of everything, human and so require occasional interaction.
2. i’ve had bugger all work since November, but used the free time to write & edit; now i feel i must find other things to do with my time, or i’ll just drink and get fat and go to seed and then dress all in black and acquire a leather sofa on which to collapse, groaning about the Jews. There have been times where i did nothing with my free time, just drank and played computer games or watched youtube channels and grew vile & obese; after a month of writing, i’ve found myself in spirit leaner and focussed, and rather than relax i want to shift this focus elsewhere. It occurs to me that we need work and difficulty, and deadlines, external imperatives, in order to attain this mental and emotional clarity & will (c.f. Anatomy of Melancholy).
3. Varg Vikernes somewhere says that as a child he lived in the Middle East (i think his father was a diplomat or engineer) and saw the compound guards happily spend hours just lounging about doing nothing – this was their idea of Paradise, to do nothing.
Work seems somehow unnecessary for the emotional satisfaction of the sand peoples. This is, i suppose, one reason for the paucity of invention in hotter climates; and perhaps why their kind, even to the umpteenth generation, are overly represented in welfare-dependency (and crime) and do badly in school. Their ideal is to lounge around while the womenfolk labour; or even better, just collect generous government subsidies, while the Kuffar labour.
i’ve found the exceptions to be workaholics to shame even the Germans – my father, for example, though actually his whole family seem so; or my student Khan, who still wakes at 0200 to begin work in his company (which he owns) despite suffering from motor neurone disease. Curiously, although my father can barely speak English, and Khan still has a strong Punjabi accent, they both prefer Europe to their homelands, and are scathing of their folk.
4. Naudhiz is an overlooked rune. The need to work, not to perish, is essential to European soul. Perhaps it is otherwise elsewhere – i cannot say, since i have only met degenerate “European Muslims” or at least European Indians etc., who, like myself, are conflicted and must either choose a side fully (as i have; though it would be more accurate to say i was chosen by the old Northern gods) or lapse into squalor & violence & decadence.
If we assume that need is not an unfortunate feature of life before technology & socialism, but rather an essential and indeed needful component of the human psyche & human society, then we do wrong to avoid work and the strenuous and difficult:
cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life. Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; in the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground.
the scholar may note additional runological features to this text.
5. In times of peace, the warrior makes war on himself (Nietzsche). i’ve found, oddly, that i can’t take much relaxation; after a while it becomes sloth and apathy and then i feel soft & base and hate my life. Thus i will try to blog at least once every 10 days, will probably continue to post shorter pieces (“aphorisms”) on my Patreon, as i’ve found i like it, and have also determined, provided i have enough free time:
5.1 To learn enough Old Norse to be able to read the Eddas and know why the English means what it means.
5.2 To learn enough origami to make hideous occult structures to perturb the herd.
5.3 To lose yet more of my blubber, and become hard & cruel & racist.
5.4 To go back to doing daily Tai Chi and/or Chi Kung (it requires little time but a certain amount of energy, which was mostly given over to editing in February).
5.5 To write an occult horror comedy screenplay.
That is all.