1. i’m visiting Juniper for Easter and her computer is now about a decade old, so there’ll likely be no blogging till after i return. i don’t have anything to say now, but Monday to Wednesday are long days and then i’m off to Kassel, so i’ll say the nothing i have to say, now.

2. A few months ago, i said that as long as the media are savagely attacking Trump you can be sure he’s at least trying to do good. He stood up for gay rights and the media ignored it; his supporters were generally restrained & orderly while the Left organised mass protests and physical assaults, and the media said Trump is literally Adolf Hitler and his supporters brownshirts; his daughter talked nonsense about the supposed pay gap, and the media ignored it; but as soon as he launched an attack on Assad he became, suddenly, all right, presidential even in the eyes of the media who were calling him psychopathic, narcissistic, stupid, crazy, evil a week ago.

A screenshot from The Golden One’s FB page:

3. At times i wonder if i’m missing something, or am just stupid. i don’t, for example, see why chemical weapons should be worse than dropping bombs; nor, looking at the Iraq, Afghanistan, and Libya debacles, do i see how people can cheer the strikes on, and call for the death of Assad as if the result will somehow not be as it was in Iraq etc. i can however see why Peter Hitchens is so generally morose, coming out against war after war, and knowing that people will either not see the clear similarities between the WMD hoax and this, or won’t care.

4. As far as i can tell, the Israel/Saudi lobbies wish to destabilise every secular or Shia country in the Middle East; Israel i suppose for their own defence, the Saudis presumably for religious reasons. And since both countries more or less own the US “Deep State”, their will be done.

5. Well, we’ll see. In an earthly sense i see no hope. One can judge the true intent of the earthly powers by the corporate media’s sudden volte-face. Suddenly grabbing pussy and being Hitler isn’t so important. The important thing is to destroy Syria. i only wonder at the journalists who can write, every day, whatever their masters bid, without qualm. i met one such journalist, actually the one who told other journalists what to write, for one of Germany’s largest papers, and he seemed perfectly nice, though since his paper is Left-wing i imagine i would find it full of evil lies. Perhaps, believing that the white race is inherently evil, and European culture must be destroyed for the good of mankind, it is possible to persuade oneself of the necessity of deceit when the facts don’t quite match up, e.g. those who say the background & ethnicity of rapists shouldn’t be reported because such facts might provoke the native population. Hate-facts, you see.

7. i’m making good if slow progress on my occult horror comedy, and on my Racist Remarks. i write more for my own personal satisfaction than for any eventual readership, since after 12 years of blogging i have about a dozen readers. i’ve been a bit down of late; my schedule fluctuates so i have days with no work, or only 90 minutes (with 2 hours’ travel), and then days with 12 or more hours; i worry about money since i’m making on average just barely what i need to survive (without health insurance or a pension), and then the 12-hour days leave me stunned and incapable. On Friday, as i shambled about McLingua, i felt that my mind had switched off, as if a fuse had gone. i am accustomed to a background noise of thinking, not “what should i have for dinner” thinking, but thinking about e.g. Wallace Stevens or the future of the EU or alchemy or runes or whatnot, and these thoughts console and please me. On Friday, seemingly from overwork this aspect of my mind switched off completely. It was quite horrible. i was suddenly massively bored and weary of being alive. i wondered, Is this why normal people always have to be drinking beer and shouting, to distract themselves from this abyss?

But then it’s been four months since my last holiday, so i’m jaded and weary as usual after too long in Munich. Just the train fare to & from Kassel will cost 15% of what i’ll make in April, before tax, a thought i find highly displeasing. i shouldn’t spend so much money but my mood has grown darker & darker of late, to the point where i was yesterday trying to cheer myself up thus: “My life is so shit. Whoah, hold on, it’s not that bad. Think. You have…some friends in Munich, after all. Even if you don’t really trust any of them. And they’re all cunts.” And then, walking back from the supermarket i found myself eyeing the speeding cars and thinking, Maybe i’ll be lucky and a car will hit me and i’ll die immediately. But then again, i might just be crippled from the neck down and end up in a Muslim camp, raped until i die of internal bleeding.

So it’s probably for the best that i’m off to Kassel.

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