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1. i hungered for carbs this evening, so decided to get me a frozen pizza because i am classy like that. By trial & error i’ve discovered that most frozen pizzas either stick to the baking tray or become awash with grease, or the outsides are burnt and the core is lukewarm and gooey. The exception: a supermarket own-brand, significantly cheaper but by God they cook up really good and taste like a new Murdoch Murdoch.

2. It is often alleged of Communism and its hundreds of millions of fatalities, that we never really had real Communism. Living as we do in an old chaos of the sun, amidst the messiness of men and women and their works & whims, i could say – the label and the packaging and marketing must be secondary to the result. One could accuse, that i have a cheap old oven (actually a Siemens and quite old so probably better than anything modern) and hence can’t cook these fancy pizzas the way they need. But, for me, that just means i shouldn’t be buying fancy pizzas.

Likewise, Mankind is an old, functional but wayward thing and modern ideas simply don’t cook right with us. The end and dream may be nice but if every attempted implementation leads to mass murder, tyranny, starvation, and the gulag, one might reasonably suppose something in this nice dream is in fact utterly at odds with reality and barring an unprecedented shift in human consciousness, it will always lead to suffering and death.

3. A dog finds a shiny interesting-looking piece of what could be food. It looks nice, smells nice, but causes a week’s intestinal anguish. Next time, the dog finds the same artifact and gobbles it up, however this time taking certain canine precautions, for example drinking more water. Same result. Next time, the dog finds the same artifact and gobbles it up, trying increasingly clever precautions (only on a Wednesday, only on an empty stomach, only in small doses, only before sleep, only with a Bifi roll) – same agonising result. But it looks so nice!!!

And then the dog meets a preening and fat pug, who tells him, – It will make you feel wonderful and you will be healthy and sturdy! You must be doing something wrong! It is so nice, if it is nasty to you, then you are the problem!!! We will take you to the dog pound and have you put down! 


1. Millennial Woes defined a group here (he originally did so in an earlier video but this stuck in my mind):

A set of individuals: people who might share characteristics but don’t necessarily have any bond with each other, and whose existence is entirely in the present moment. Contrast that with a group: people who share characteristics and have a bond with each other, and can be considered the present iteration of an entity which might have existed in the past and might exist in the future. The concept of time has been introduced, which inaugurates the group as a group rather than a set of random individuals who happen to have some similarities.

2. After copying out the above i went shopping and in the supermarket queue was standing behind a youngish guy who, i decided, was probably ex-military: Germany had conscription till recently so that’s not so remarkable, though usually they lose the manner fairly quickly after leaving. Without really paying attention i paid attention to his interaction with the cashier (a new guy, young, German), and felt that not only was the customer ex- (or perhaps still) military, but the cashier was also, and there was a kind of recognition. i was mostly thinking about what i would write about groups upon my return, and was thus only vaguely aware of the slight differences in body language, gaze, movement, etc. of the two, and then the cashier asked if the customer wanted the receipt, he said no, and the cashier said, Alles klar, and i smiled to myself; for outside of Das Boot

in my eight years in Germany i have only ever heard this phrase from Bundeswehr soldiers and i felt the cashier was either half-consciously letting him know, “i was in the Bund” or it was a wholly unconscious sympathetic response.

3. On the walk home i analysed my recognition of the two and realised that every single element could be disputed, that is not a single datum was in itself absolute proof. However, the presence and relation of several data is both difficult to explain and yet almost immediately sensed and typical of a particular identity. When i think, what characterises the group Bundeswehr, i would say they are brisk and yet relaxed, and don’t fidget. They often try not to look like soldiers, perhaps in the same way alcoholics try to act sober when they’ve in fact had a few ales.

4. Human beings are eminently social animals. But then, even animals are largely social. The social instinct – to identify with a group – seems innate. From a reductive biological perspective, those who lacked the sense of a group, and the desire to belong, are highly unlikely to have survived. So, if there is some biological basis to group identity (i find it hard to imagine that birds, by trial and error, figured out how to build nests or fly in formation, and then each generation somehow teaches its offspring in a manner no human observer can detect), probably everyone has it to some degree.

5. In our rather nauseating times, it is popular to declare oneself an individual. i am a human being! they say, Not a European! Fine but such folk merely reposition their group from the genetic and local to the political, and with oddly more ferocity – where hardcore Bavarians for example will happily say that they are not really German and Berliners are just Prussians, they don’t generally dislike non-Bavarians – they just regard them as different and a bit odd. But talk to a Leftist and, well – you don’t even need a signed copy of Mein Kampf anymore, it’s enough to say things like this:

and you’re in the gulag forever; i mean, unless your name is Clinton. i can’t think of a single person of my acquaintance who doesn’t express this group-desire in some form or another.

6. i don’t really see why people talk about individualism as if it’s even possible for more than a tiny number of, well, oddballs. You need an internal momentum and integrity to resist the allure of the consensual, and that is naturally rare. Those who advertise themselves as individuals are usually just losers who want to be cool, and then become partisan and join clubs and dye their hair blue and read the Guardian; and perhaps put on funny clothes, smash shit up, and get some of that sweet Soros gro. Those who are truly individual tend to an indeterminable, deep identity which also makes them hard to predict and liable to change their own mind on peripheral topics, and to associate with a variety of folk – for example, Styxhexenhammer666 has talked with civic nationalists like Sargon, the Jewish Bernie bro progressive H.A. Goodman, the Alt-Right Richard Spencer, the an-cap Stefan Molyneux.

The rest of humanity are just normies – they can be intelligent, they can be interesting, but ultimately they are driven by the need to be acceptable, and if tomorrow it became mainstream to eat babies they would read New York Times editorials on the health and social benefits of infantophagy and at first stare, uncomprehending, then nod slowly, and lick their lips, and when they look up to see the same narrative on CNN they will think, Yes, I always thought we should do something like this!

And the more intelligent they are, the cleverer their justifications and post hoc analyses.

7. Although i understand nothing of Physics, one could use the metaphor of particles & waves, and say that each person is an atomic thing, a particle, but part of being a particle is to also be a wave. From the particular standpoint, waves are illusory, are fancies and nonsense. One can take a teaspoon of water from a wave of the sea, and find no evidence of the wave in these five or so milliliters – that does not disprove the wave.

Perhaps it is better to say, not that the wave is greater than the teaspoon of water, but that they occupy different realities – or are different ways of seeing reality; the dancer & the dance.

1. Millennial Woes started a series on the media response to each exploding/stabbing Mohammed, on the grounds that there isn’t much to say about the acts themselves (either recent immigrant or a homegrown Jihadi, usually a petty criminal “known to the police” – nothing remarkable in the West). i likewise find the Harvey Weinstein scandal uninteresting (powerful Hollywood American with German surname supports Hillary Clinton and also sexually abuses women!) but it’s interesting to consider what’s going on behind the scenes. As ever, the corporate media signals the favour or disfavour of the elites (just look at their brief u-turn on Trump when he ordered a strike against Syria).

2. Everyone knew about Weinstein. The stories were however repeatedly killed by the corporate media:

When Maddow asked why Farrow’s feature ended up at The New Yorker rather than at NBC, where he is employed as a correspondent, he replied, “You would have to ask NBC and NBC executives about the details. I’m not going to comment on any news organization’s story that they did or did not run.”

3. But now it’s open season on Weinstein. Why? It’s certainly not in the interests of the liberal elites to show their Democrat darlings up as squalid sexual operators. i presume that Weinstein pissed off the wrong people, people higher up than him. And now his life is more or less ruined and i would guess he knows quite a lot about not only his echelon, but his immediate superiors in the demonic hierarchy, and so – well, i wouldn’t be surprised if he accidentally drops a barbell on his own throat in the gym, or shoots himself twice in the back of the head, or a robber will shoot him in the back and then not take anything. The nature of these deaths themselves are interesting – i think deliberately clumsy, as it were sending a double signal: to the normies it’s just an accident, to those who might betray their demonic masters, a robbery where nothing is stolen is a warning – behave, you!

4. So now the whole of Hollywood is suddenly, on cue, appalled. And when instructed, they will all forget about it. Surreal, isn’t it? On an occult level, the intensely strange nature of Hollywood, of actors, attracts certain grotesque and malign elements. Collective atmosphere can open doors that shouldn’t be opened (or that should) and when i consider the self-righteous hypocrisy of men like Ben Affleck or George Clooney, the levels of commitment and imaginative focus needed to be a great or even a good actor, the little created world of a film, which can reach out and transform a significantly broader reality (the influence of Star Wars, for example), then i think one would see a strange turmoil of ritualistic energy about Hollywood. And that attracts certain forces and forms; indeed, it invites them:

1. i was in McLingua the other day, talking to a Mooing Cow: this is one of the standard types among English teachers: young, American, Left-wing, female, slightly pudgy, gormless expression, tends to walk around sighing, God, I’m so tired!, and i saw she had a new class at a company i’m also at once a week. i told her how to get there and because i can get there quite easily (bus then u-bahn then walking, so i can avoid the almost permanently dysfunctional s-bahns) i was on the verge of exhorting her to take the number blah blah blah bus from Elberryville to such-and-such a u-bahn station, then the U-blah to blah, then realised, Wait a minute she doesn’t live in Elberryville, at best the final u-bahn station is relevant to her.

Later i reflected that because i like the commute (it only takes an hour from door to door, and i like buses) i wanted to recommend it to her, and so ignored its almost total irrelevance for her needs. Directions are useless unless you share a starting point as well as a goal.

2. This is a general pattern of response for human beings. A few months ago i met a woman who used to work at McLingua (she’s now a HR boss somewhere). We were at the Weisses Bräuhaus on the Tal and she first summoned the typically surly Bavarian waitress and in her poncy German asked for vegetarian dishes, then when told there were none to be had asked what she could get without pork, meriting another surly look since virtually everything on the menu has the word Schwein in it.

i made the mistake of saying i wouldn’t eat because i only had 6 Euros in my bank (i should have told her i wasn’t hungry). She exploded, in her cosmopolitan luvvie accent, – Oh my God, that’s terrible! That’s really shocking! Really, you should sue McLingua! – and then insisted on buying soup for me.

i should have just said, Actually, your stupid poncy voice has put me off eating, but being Mr Tact i shrugged and let her buy me soup that i didn’t particularly want. She then spent the next hour haranguing me for my life choices, while i tried to eat my soup and felt miserable and trapped by the life choice of letting her order food for me.

3. She’s not a bad person but a typical progressive – she speaks in a passionate la-di-da plummy accent, full of shallow conviction on every subject under the sun, for example she told me Donald Trump is literally an idiot, the man is totally stupid. He’s really a Russian spy and then, when i exploded with laughter (bits of soup spraying over the table) she added authoritatively, – I’ve done a lot of research and he’s totally controlled by Putin.

She exhorted me to go for office jobs, for example as a translator. i told her my German is nowhere near good enough to translate and she said, – Don’t tell them that! You have to fake it a bit! – then, when she saw my look of disdain, – God, Elberry! You’ve got to learn to be strategic.

That’s apparently the new word for lying. i told her i did 20 office jobs in England and would rather live an uncertain life doing a job i half-like than a 9 to 5 in something i hate, something i’m bad at. She of course wasn’t having it and kept pointing to my poverty as a sign of my failure in life, and as is the way of such folk (always women) she took this as an invitation to harangue me to, as it were, follow her directions from her spiritual starting point (Progressive egotism) to her goal (worldly status).

What a stupid cow.

4. Over time my general map has become increasingly occult, so where 20 years ago it would have been fairly comprehensible to the normies, it is now more like a personal grimoire. i’ve found that certain acts please my hamingja, while others weaken it:  lying always leaves me beset by mishap & awkwardness, though very occasional theatricality & deception seems fine – the difference here seems that the latter is not for personal gain or ego but is more of a spiritual manoeuvre, and typically exercised for purposes of high mirth or to create a magical space, to as it were temporarily exit normality. When i contemplated Prog Power Woman, i felt keenly that she was spiritually astray, with a weakened, modern hamingja, at odds with her world because she is an atomized, cosmopolitan egotist who exercises dominance over others under the guise of benevolence.

i decided never to see her again, as i don’t see any way to communicate with people like this. It was, however, interesting that she instinctively recognised the magical power in buying food for someone, and used it to control my presence, so i couldn’t simply get up and go but had to calmly finish my soup and then tell her how grateful i was for her charity if not for the bullshit coming out of her stupid progressive cow mouth.

i don’t even like soup.

1. July 16, 1945.

2. “This, of course, was The Atom Bomb, the most dangerous and destructive energy ever manipulated by man on earth. Physically, it means our world can be reduced to radioactive ruins in minutes, its millions of inhabitants incinerated in the hottest hell mankind has ever made for himself. Mentally and spiritually, its mere existence has altered us and therefore our Tradition forever on this poor planet. There is another and even more deadly danger the Bomb brought with it which seems to be unrealized except among occult individuals.

“In some way not yet realized, all our radioactive explosions, experiments, and contrivances have made it possible for an altogether alien influence of what could be called “anti-life” to be drawn to us. This cannot be classed as “Evil” in any ordinary sense at all, and yet its long-term effects on us could prove fatal in the worst sense imaginable. It is inimical to our inner evolution purely out of necessity to itself rather than animosity to us, and indeed has no “feelings” of any kind whatever as we would recognize the word. What has happened is that our mishandling of fissionable elements opened up entirely unauthorized and automatic paths between our states of existence and what might be termed conditions of “contra-cosmos.” 

(William Gordon Gray, An Outlook on Our Inner Western Way)

3. i feel something did alter in the West after 1945, not merely on a sociological level, but metaphysically. As above, so below, as they say – i don’t necessarily think the atomic bomb caused this shift, or vice versa; but say rather they went together; and perhaps the bomb didn’t so much open a portal to malign entities, as close a chink in human consciousness.

The post-war period seems to me divisible into 1945-1989, and 1989 to the present; this second stage is nihilistic, bestial, technocratic. i note, idly, that Twin Peaks first aired in 1990, and given Lynch’s occult inclinations i wonder if there is another shift occurring now:

4. i was today strolling at twilight around the nearby lake and passed a couple using their smartphones as flashlights in the rain, and averted my eyes to preserve my night vision. i find it emblematic of the modern Germans, that they do not trust their eyesight, smell, and hearing, but instead use a very short-lived technology to light up a very small section of their path.

i was walking the same route a few days ago, at late twilight, and sensed, then saw what turned out to be a hedgehog in my path, and slowed to allow it to scuttle into the bushes; i have bad eyesight but have walked in woods at night without problems, as could anyone, or at least anyone not ruined by cities and technology. i would recommend twilight walking, in unlit areas, for anyone interested in the occult: the senses come to life, even eyesight operates at an unusual pitch, and one starts to perceive differently, more acutely, and one’s rhythm is accommodated to the environs (so, for example, i didn’t stop or swerve because that would have merely alarmed the already alarmed hedgehog).

5. At a certain crossroads i invoked Wotan and the rain shuddered about me; there were old forms following through the trees, conscious again.

If 1945 and the bomb signaled the unnatural closing of a portal, i trust that our times will see a kind of anti-atomic-bomb, an integration of that which has been torn asunder and scattered. That which was real and passed into dream may be again, since to be human is to dwell upon dream; Proto-Indo-European had the optative, and so may it be.

1. i’ve been doing a lot of writing recently, on computer; typos abound, sometimes letter substitutions, sometimes totally different words, e.g. “want” instead of “watch”.

This never happens with handwriting, nor so frequently when i write on one of my manual typewriters, perhaps because there is no delete key, perhaps because it feels (and is) more directly physical.

How differently we experience our own thought when we make so many errors, when error is so easily corrected.

2. People often suppose that we have the thought, fully-formed, and then express it with language. Instead, a kind of presence builds, vaguely, and we begin to speak or write; and the utterance creates the thought. It is not a matter of midwifing the thought, but rather of creating it with language.

3. i get most of my “news” from Youtube now: for a fuller sense of the person who creates the thought. i always found corporate media tedious – as with school, it felt wooden and mechanical. There was very little humanity to it – and by humanity i mean anything authentic (for good or ill). My father tried to force me to read the dreary Times every day and i leafed through it hoping for a good war or cannibal outbreak, but alas it was always tedious grey-haired London faggots writing about the junior undersecretary for trade’s latest tax incentive. Fuck that shit, thought i, i shall play Dune 2 and read David Gemmell.

The authentic will win out over time, which is one reason Social Justice Warriors try to co-opt and pervert non-ideological works such as Ghostbusters or Lord of the Flies or Thor or Star Trek/Wars: they want to destroy the original as much as possible, to put it in the “memory hole” and overwrite it with their Politically Correct Feminist, egalitarian Marxshit. It’s a sign of our degenerate times that Star Trek for example was always a progressive, globalist show – but by today’s standards it is appallingly misogynistic and Capitalist Imperialist and racist and sexist and homophobic and xenophobic and Islamophobic and Patriarchicacalifragilisticexpialidocioustistic and so must be overwritten.

The Left wish to consign the past to the memory hole because it’s easier to say “we never had real Communism” if people aren’t aware that every time it’s been attempted the results, for some odd reason, are always horrific; and because the original Star Trek (and TNG) while frequently silly & leftist, have a levity & nuance & zany weirdness

not to be found in today’s shrieking Left – and thus must be overwritten. Kirk would shit on these modern menstruals with his whacky antics and huge phallus, therefore he must be forgotten.

4. Youtube allows something like the spontaneity and authenticity of one-to-one conversation. If, for example, i read that blacks & whites don’t integrate in America, that may or may not be true; however, when Toddball told me he had black friends as a child in Chicago but as soon as they entered “middle school” (or something similarly American) his black friends automatically self-segregated and would only hang out with other negroes, i can judge this to be probably true – i have his facial expressions, his body language, his voice, and my knowledge of him and my read of his character.

5. Bryan Appleyard, if i recall correctly, wrote (in Understanding the Present) that the modern worldview is of the universe without a human viewer, a universe in which human beings are merely objects, data. The so-called scientific objectivity has leaked out into our wider culture, so newspapers have their house style and one of my more intelligent university tutors had a paper rejected as being “not academic style” – the aim is to remove the individual, the particular perspective, and attain a denatured objectivity.

i reach for as full a context as possible, to understand just who is speaking. When i discovered blogs, in 2005, i was stirred more by the authentic strange character of these strange people writing whatever nonsense or sense: Bryan Appleyard, KurpThe Grumpy Old Bookman, Ensio Kataja, Longsword, Brit, Richard MadeleySteven Moore, than by their particular content. Now most of the above have died of drink i find myself more interested in Youtube. Here is an old video by Millennial Woes who seems to me an evidently decent human being, and to have not mere facility with language, but a meditative, unscripted ease & fluency; and he values the individual and the group:

6. While language clearly can and is often used to deceive or for malign ends, the fuller the context the harder this is. The corporate media makes for a flat, ahistorical perspective; i would say, to use Nassim Taleb’s terms, one should have skin in the game, be involved and both perceive and present as full and unmitigated a context as possible.

1. i’ve often been criticised for thinking in terms of character and talking about people i know. And yet, i think one can project social and political forms from the individual. On one of his videos Jordan Peterson said, regarding the entry of women into politics (and the electorate), that for a woman a crying baby is always right; a woman doesn’t question if the baby is justified in its complaint; because it is crying it is right and special. And certainly, in the West, we live in a feminized society with feminized politics: impractical, cruel, daddy issues, fluffy, lovey-dovey, raves about evil rape then invites millions of rapists in to rape, merciless against dissent, irrational, savage, gormless.

For a woman, disagreement means hatred. For a woman, mockery is assault. For a woman, dissent is terrorism.

2. i was teaching a new group, and being of late melancholy and jaded with my existence, and hence lacking my usual colossal tact, i criticised politicians en masse. Even in Germany – as conforming Big State a nation as one could dread to inhabit – most of my students nodded agreement, and a juicy MILF said one of her children’s teachers – the worst teacher in the entire school, despised by his colleagues and reviled by the pupils – left education to become a politician and everyone was delighted to see him go.

3. A tendency to be observed today: weakness signaling: the weaker and more emotionally-distressed and unstable, the higher one’s status in the West. Hence, the weaklings will proclaim themselves triggered, offended, and cry and demonstrate their mental instability, as if that indicates ontological superiority. The last time one of my (female) colleagues accused me of hurtful utterances, i merely smiled evilly and she slunk away in shame, to hang herself in the McLingua toilet.

4. Another modern tendency: to manage potential conflict by being nice. i would say there are roughly three means of conflict management:

i) Kill all potential opposition.

ii) Intimidate all potential opposition.

iii) Make friends with all potential opposition.

Option 1 is what one would find among the sand peoples in their native habitat, where the latest warlord will usually be found half-eaten by crocodiles six months later. At the top of Option 2 there is prolific non-lethal violence such as one one would find in Sunderland; at the lower range it is more, as in the McLingua teacher room, a matter of carrying an Uzi and walking with a certain John Wayne swagger, and calling everyone “pal”.

Option 3 is basically that of Withnail & I where a psychotic poacher breaks into the cottage at night: “we’ll have to try and make friends with him!”

Our leaders wish to destroy European culture and the white race, however those who vote for the Centre and Left parties are largely adherents of Option 3: the pre-emptive cringe and apology before Third World Jihaddists, the hope that if we’re just nice enough to them, they will let us live in peace. Option 3 is the recourse of women, and women in a land of superabundant resources to boot; they don’t understand (because of their arrogance) that non-feminized men see niceness as weakness, and the sand peoples in general correctly see weakness, and exploit it.

5. Before the recent German elections my little village was full of party posters, and two FDP canvassers tried to stop me near the bus stop (i told them, smiling pleasantly “I’m not a German citizen” though in truth i wanted to say “you faggots need to wake up and smell the negro, Tyrone is in your house blacking your daughters and you’re babbling about politics. Now is not the time for politics. Now is the time for alcohol! Gentlemen! To the pub!”). Now that the election is over (with predictable results) these posters are left strewn about town, even on the little country lanes and i dare say if i penetrated into the wood i would find CSU and Die Linke posters littered about like haemophiliac squirrels. The posters are naturally becoming weather-torn and stained, and no one clears them away. The parties who promise to help the people leave their trash like a discarded condom full of jizz in your shoes, for you to unpleasantly discover to your great chagrin.

6. If you want an image for democracy there it is – a condom full of strange jizz.



1. The Golden One recently said, apropos a video of Varg’s about having muscles “when shit hits the fan” that we’ve been at war since 1945. It’s a little disingenuous as “shit hits the fan” means total anarchy, no public transport, no gym membership, no guaranteed access to nutrition (including protein). However, something certainly changed in our world in 1945.

2. Two quotations.

The news today about ‘Atomic bombs’ is so horrifying one is stunned. The utter folly of these lunatic physicists to consent to do such work for war-purposes: calmly plotting the destruction of the world! Such explosives in men’s hands, while their moral and intellectual status is declining, is about as useful as giving out firearms to all inmates of a gaol and then saying that you hope ‘this will ensure peace’. But one good thing may arise out of it, I suppose, if the write-ups are not overheated: Japan ought to cave in. Well we’re all in God’s hands. But He does not look kindly on Babel-builders. 

(J.R.R. Tolkien to Christopher Tolkien, 9 August 1945)


Die hysterische Angst, die die Öffentlichkeit jetzt vor der Atom-Bombe hat, oder doch ausdrückt, ist beinahe ein Zeichen, daß hier einmal wirklich eine heilsame Erfindung gemacht worden ist. Wenigstens macht die Furcht den Eindruch einer wirklich wirksamen bittern Medizin. […]  Denn alles, was ich meinen kann, ist doch nur, daß die Bombe das Ende, die Zerstörung, eines gräßlichen Übels, der ekelhaften, seifenwäßrigen Wissenschaft, in Aussicht stellt. Und das ist freilich kein unangenehmer Gedanke; aber wer sagt, was auf eine solche Zerstörung folgen würde?

The hysterical fear following the Atom Bomb, or rather, the expressed fear, almost suggests we have here a truly wholesome bitter medicine. […] Because my thought here is, the Bomb will bring to an end, utterly destroy, a loathsome evil: our modern Science. Not an unwelcome prospect by any means, and besides who can say what would be born from such destruction? 

(Wittgenstein, notebooks 1946, my translation)

3. i note that Spain is acting to Catalonia as the EU to Britain and every member state. Last year, apropros Brexit, a fat rabbit student and IT geek (they all seem enormously overweight) said if we take my independence logic to its conclusion, Bavaria would separate from Germany, Niederbayern from Oberbayern, etc. i suppose there is a natural coherence which can unify disparate peoples and places, but it is a delicate and uncertain thing. Since 1945 we’ve inhabited a world of power blocks, and the gradual destruction of individual cultural difference. The belly-patting Southron manager and fat rabbit type would scoff and say Britain loves to be in the EU but actually i think if the defining group is drawn too large the individual ceases to feel any affinity to his supposed category. Naturally, fat rabbits, Southrons and Volvo-drivers could not understand this: for them, the economy is all and the genetic base or culture is, at best, a minor talking point at a nice little dinner party.

Tolkien was right to describe our new overlords as Babel-builders. They are innately atheist, supposing human rationality can create total and lasting order, despite every attempt thereat having come to disaster in the past. One reason i’ve been so delighted by Taleb’s Antifragile: as far as i can tell, he shares my doubts about manmade order & certainty, and one typically has to go quite far back (e.g. to Tolkien or Wittgenstein or Chesterton) to find such an understanding – an understanding set against apparent understanding; it is, today, a spiritual perspective.

4. Much will have to be rebuilt, after the collapse – hopefully very differently, almost certainly so since those who believe the most in today’s late system are unlikely to survive.

1. i’ve been diligently working on my new volume of, well, stuff, and hope to self-publish it this year. It will consist of a play i wrote in 2013, my last 5 short stories, some racist remarks, some mediocre poems, and my temp memoir: at present it comes to about 70,000 words. Rather annoyingly, my monstrous Bildungsroman, The Better Maker, should also be ready soon. And then there will probably be another 20 years of nothing but blogging before various projects i’ve taken up, discarded, tinkered with, discarded, resumed, will suddenly coalesce into another two or three books all at the same time.

2. i’ve been long admonished for my bizarre ways and lack of focus, but have come to accept that the longer-term my plans, the less likely they are to be realised, and so i now live more or less from day to day like a vole burrowing about in your waistcoat closet. On the train down to Bratislava i started reading Nassim Taleb’s Antifragile, after long regarding him as a pompous blowhard based on headlines and his own occasional ex cathedra pronouncements on, e.g. ties. He is abrasive but as i read i rather warmed to this quality, and realised who he reminded me of – Varg Vikernes.

3. Both Varg and Taleb have to some degree disconnected from the world – Varg by living in the middle of rural France where he can play roleplaying games with his dozen blonde children and throw axes into trees, Taleb by being exceedingly rich and disdaining to act like a normal sensible human being. He describes his reading habits, for example he apparently read all of Zola’s books in one month, one a day. He says that he gets bored easily so immediately switches to another activity the moment he loses interest. He advocates unpredictable eating patterns. He drinks wine and eats steak and wears moccasins.

i share the distinction of getting easily bored, which is why i use a Kindle for my travels (i typically spend at least an hour on trains), so i can flick from e.g. Taleb to Thomas Bernhard to Chuck Palahniuk to Victor Davis Hanson to William Gordon Gray to Martin van Creveld. It takes me ages to finish a book but i’m never bored and because i only read what i want, i can read at maximum concentration.

Likewise with writing, i get bored and just switch off. i go through obsessive phases, for example i edited The Better Maker from beginning to end about five or six times earlier this year, then abruptly lost interest, feeling that i’d burnt out my capacity to perceive its particular landscape & defects, and only recently i’ve felt a renewed interest in finishing it off.

4. My character is, i think, essentially labile. Thus, school was a torment for me, as were office jobs, and i naturally gravitated to temping, and now as an English teacher i live in almost constant uncertainty, financial and otherwise. Taleb, when i Googled him, is subject to repeated criticism and abuse, but he’s a big boy and can take it. In part, his abrasive nature attracts criticism, but i think it’s also that he is highly dubious about Mankind’s ability to even comprehend reality as it is, let alone to make long-term plans and forecasts; and civilisation is driven in part by the need to comprehend a space within the city walls, to organise, order, and plan; and so he draws fire for his scepticism.

Our civilisation has been slowly crumbling for a while, and i think in the next few years it will come crashing violently down. Those who have profited from the current dysorder are unlikely to see it coming, because there is a natural human tendency to suppose that if one has a comfortable managerial position, with a Volvo, the world is as it should be and needs, at best, minor tinkering by a belly-patting Southron managerial class.

5. i’m hoping for a plague that wipes out about 90% of the human population, starting with those who have wronged me, then proceeding to anyone i dislike, those i don’t particularly like, people i like but who get on my nerves, friends, etc. Naturally i am unlikely to survive but it’s all good.

The shock will be extreme in highly conformist bureaucratic countries like Germany, Sweden.

My feeling is the collapse will come during the next 7 years, because Donald Trump will be in some way centrally involved in how things develop – whether (as the corporate media would insist) he will start randomly nuking the planet and aliens will come and destroy us because of his Twitter account, or whether his almost manically flexible mind will make the difference between utter destruction and some kind of survival. i feel it is the latter, and that he was in some sense chosen in advance, to be in place when the great collapse comes and behold men will stagger out of their burning cities, onto the ashen plain, weeping blood, they will rend their fine garments, cast their melting iphones to the ground, and say, We have sinned and brought damnation upon our heads. Who shall save us? Who can, in this darkest of all hours, preserve Mankind from total obliteration? Who?

Who indeed.

Having nothing to lose, i welcome the collapse and look eagerly forward to looting whisky and tobacco and fine waistcoats and either dying in battle or taking to the mountains to become a tyrant and religious figure, bestowing trinkets and crusts upon the faithful, sacrificing the unfit on an altar of marble high in the Alps or Pyrenees or whatever mountains are to hand, summoning demons, drinking blood for breakfast and generally having a good time.

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