Q. Are you really called “Elberry”?

A. Yes.

Q. You occasionally go on about pagan gods and magic and reincarnation and things like that. Is it all just a literary device?

A. No.

Q. I thought this was a literary blog. You sicken me. I am an intelligent, successful woman.

A. i am not attempting to write a literary or respectable or pagan or New Age blog; i am writing to give myself pleasure. If the result occasionally and unpredictably seems literary, please do not mistake this for my purpose.

Q. You anger me so much I want to kill you. Normally I would leave abusive comments but I can`t because you`ve disabled comments. What should I do?

A. Go away, forget this blog exists, and you will soon feel better. If your rage persists try banging your head against a brick wall, moaning and moaning till you find peace.

Q. Why are comments disabled?

A. Well, comments such as these, for example. No one pays me to blog; i don`t force anyone to read my work; i don`t seek publicity or attention; so i don`t see why i should have to endure the venom and verbiage of fools.

Q. I hate you. You are a faggot. Everything you write is worthless but I keep reading and if you enabled comments I would spew my venom out every day. You are gay and a fascist. You are a white supremacist Nazi! Fucking faggot! I wish I could kill you. I wish I could smash you in the face till you die. I fucking hate you so much. You offend everything I care about. You are a fucking faggot, you’re so pitiful you make me laugh. You should just fucking die.

A. Well, you left about 1000 comments to this effect before i disabled comments, and there isn’t really any cogent answer.

Q. Are you a Christian or something like that?

A. No. Broadly speaking i am a polytheist. This is based on personal experience rather than creed or New Age nonsense.

Q. What exactly do you do for a living?

A. i teach English to Germans.

Q. Have you written anything else except this miserable blog?

A. Yes. i wrote a blog called The Lumber Room at a series of minimum wage office jobs, between 2005 and 2009. i’ve also written a novel, a few good short stories, and several essays on literature. One short story was published in 2004, in a small journal, but everything else is unpublished.

Q. Why don’t you get them published?

A. Because it is (almost) impossible to get anything published if you`re not famous (as a footballer, for example), or in the right circles, which i’m not. i also don’t want to be read by more than about a dozen people, i just want money. That is not enough of a motive to waste my time and energy pestering indifferent publishers.

Q. Do you hate coloured people?

A. No.

Q. Are you a White Supremacist?

A. No.

Q. Are you a Nazi?

A. No.

Q. Are you a faggot?

A. No.

Q. Do you worship Hitler?

A. No.

Q. Are you a Buddhist or Hindu?

A. No.

Q. Are you a neo-Pagan?

A. Not really.

Q. I want to help you.

A. Send me money via Patreon.