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1. Despite the grim situation in Western Europe i feel all it as it should be; much as i am not unduly depressed to find myself broke, since i did not aggressively seek out classes, and until recently bought fine whiskies and waistcoats as i felt moved – and so having no ‘gro in my bank is merely what i should expect. My work in July should be ample (crash courses) and i used the free time to write and think, so it’s all good.

2. i was teaching two software developers at a finance company and we fell to talking of abstruse matters such as C++ and C sharp, some kind of programming language for modern machines, apparently. By their account, one of these automatically allocates memory, the other not. i suppose, for computers, unused memory capacity is a good thing; by contrast, human beings and cultures are determined by their stored memories, by fullness rather than vacancy. In computer terms our processing power is the greater, the more we use our memory, the fuller our databanks.

3. Human memory is typically narrative. i think one function of dreams is to “process” recent memory, to weave it into a story. i do have a few snapshot memories where i have almost no idea of context, and typically these are perplexing. Memory is almost always narrative, within a framework of association. This established structure makes sense of experience. The greater the memory, the greater the possibilities of narrative subtlety and range.

Most people today actively defend themselves against extended memory. They know little of their ancestors and despise those who think it important. Nationalism no longer means much in Western Europe; these nations been flooded with immigrants for whom the history of e.g. England or Germany or France is totally irrelevant. 2nd and 3rd-generation immigrants typically know little of their own family history back in the desert, and just as typically despise European tradition – and they are legally citizens of European nations. This would go some way to explaining why 1st-gen immigrants aren’t as criminal as their children – those who grew up in e.g. Pakistan at least have some ancestral connection; their displaced children have none; and as they inevitably dilute and disrupt the native culture, in the end nobody has anything.

4. Discussing software – about which i am happy to understand nothing – one of the students said they use programs full of barely-comprehensible code, and occasionally find a “command line” with the notation do not delete, written by someone who has long since left the company; and while the line has seemingly no function, when it is altered the whole system goes drastically awry. It struck me as akin to civilisation, which is built on inscrutable enactments and beliefs; take them away and a land can go, in two or three generations, from this:

to this:

5. This transformation has naturally been in the interests of our elites, who would rather wield tyrannical power over a “Scouring of the Shire”-style land of cowed, bullied natives and widespread crime and terrorism than be public servants to a largely free land:

‘It would be a grievous blow to the world, if the Dark Power overcame the Shire; if all your kind, jolly, stupid Bolgers, Hornblowers, Boffins, Bracegirdles, and the rest, not to mention the ridiculous Bagginses, became enslaved.’

Frodo shuddered. ‘But… why should he want such slaves?’

‘To tell you the truth,’ replied Gandalf, ‘I believe that hitherto – hitherto, mark you – he has entirely overlooked the existence of hobbits. You should be thankful. But your safety has passed. He does not need you — he has many more useful servants — but he won’t forget you again. And hobbits as miserable slaves would please him far more than hobbits happy and free. 

– hobbits and tattooed ginger Scots; speaking of whom, the case of Count Dankula deserves some attention. In short, a ginger Scot made an amusing video about his pug raising its right paw (my Russian hippy flatmate taught his dog this trick in Kassel), and is now facing prison time; here is a sober video on the topic:

This is the modern State: suppressing the native European population and smiling benignly upon Muslim rape gangs. Should you feel moved to send some cash this poor Scot’s way, click here. 

6. i am not political; there is no political solution. The modern man – debased, trivial, and childish as he is – must recover his ancestral memory. The usual aides-mémoire (ancient religious rite, landscape, traditional occupations) have mostly been destroyed through Protestantism, Vatican II, overpopulation, and the Industrial Revolution and urbanisation; and so the remembering will either be exceptionally traumatic, involving the destruction of cities and modern economy, genocide, and a return to hunter/gatherer and subsistence farming; or it will be merely very traumatic, involving a radical refiguring of Western consciousness within our existing way of life.

i am not trying to turn the clock back to a better time. i am, rather, trying to preserve seeds for an unimaginable future.

1. i went to Kassel to see Juniper and also just get out of Munich for a bit. Kassel attracts me not at all; it’s a typical modernist German town, depressingly functional and soulless, and now swarming with military-age African and Arab “Syrian” “refugees”.

This is the modern world, it seems – concrete towns full of Muslim invaders who are generously hosted & permitted to rape and murder by the complacent authorities. Discussing jobs etc. with Corinne (she suggested i find work in a publishing house) i told her i was born a generation too late for everything: academia has been corrupted almost beyond recognition by the Left, publishing houses have no use for proof-readers, and Humanities degrees now being overabundant (thanks to Thatcher and then Nu Labour), they have next to no value for employment purposes. The days when eccentrics and misfits could get Foreign Office, journalism, or publishing jobs because they had a 2:1 in English Lit or Philosophy are about 40 years gone.

2. i watched the Harry Potter films recently, at Corinne’s instigation. i found them surprisingly good, my only cavil being the way wands are used like handguns, seemingly irrespective of the personal power & wisdom of the wielder. Several times, i thought, Where have i seen that before? – then realised they shot some scenes in Durham Cathedral, in places i’d walked through almost every day (taking a shortcut to my college).

cathedral-from-bailey-2

Education is an odd concept – i learnt most at Durham from solitary study, or talking to friends; i think the only value i got of the official system was in having 4 years without necessity of work, a big library, essay deadlines (otherwise i wouldn’t have studied & written as intensively), and a community in which i found some interesting minds.

My expensive school, to which i needed 4 hours’ travel a day (by public transport) was, i would say, useless, because my mind is seemingly incapable of performing to official standards – one more reason i’m conventionally unemployable, i suppose. i learnt virtually nothing, except that a good proportion of human beings are naturally evil; and how to deflect bullying (which is useful but not much to show of 12 years’ schooling).

The only advantage i see in my expensive useless school, and Durham, are that i could develop in an unmodern environment, as much as is possible in the degenerate West. In my last years at school, the good old-fashioned wooden tables were removed and a wonderful old lecture-hall type room (with circular tiers leading to the dias) was remade into a bland modern space with white plastic furnishings and white walls. i was lucky enough to grow up among wooden desks with ink wells and graffiti which, i guess, dated from well before my birth. i was also fortunate, in the late 80s, to have several teachers in their 60s, dire and scowling old chaps, undoubtedly of a fascist disposition, undoubtedly they had taken a Hun head or two with a machete, back in the day.

Somewhat similarly at Durham, my first year room had the kind of battered old wooden furniture i recognised from school – and when a friend lived in the same room, 2 years later, all this was gone, replaced with giant immoveable plastic furnishings. Although i was born a generation too late, i was blessed to live and think in such places, just before they were destroyed.

3. i did my MA thesis on Tolkien in my last year at Durham. 7 years later i re-read his works, round about the time a door in my mind opened, in summer/autumn 2008. i would say my hamingja chose this time, to ease the transition to the midnight sun.

i have often noted a mythic quality to Tolkien, irrespective of his literary virtues; that is, his works have a magical/cultural force. Apropos Roger Scruton, the Man in Black recently wrote to me: “Reading Scruton at times brings to mind Susan Cooper’s Dark is Rising books, Tolkien, and Old English literature.”

i decided to see how Cooper – another mythic writer – speaks, and found this talk:

and to my surprise:

“the actual book The Dark is Rising especially is, every inch of it, is where I used to ride my bike when I was a kid. The Manor House is indeed the local manor house, and the house in which Will Stanton’s family lives is in fact the local vicarage, where the vicar’s wife tutored me in Latin, at which i was quite terrible. i needed the Latin to be allowed to study English at the University of Oxford, and when I got there I found that the English syllabus had been cut off at the year 1832 by two of our lecturers, with the result that we all studied an enormous amount of early stuff – Beowulf, Spencer, Middle English, Malory. All those things led to the fact that, as a friend of mine said, they taught us to believe in dragons. And the names of the two lecturers were JRR Tolkien and CS Lewis.”

4. The mystery of Berkano is here – the hidden continuity, a tree which blooms after the long winter. Luckily, the powers that be – the Clintons and Bushes, Soros and his ilk – operate on a worldly scale, because the spiritual is beyond their apprehension; they are evil, and may indeed dabble in occult nonsense, paedophilia etc., but they are not of the enlightened evil – perhaps no human can be, the former precluding the latter. The true powers are hidden. The good old gods are, in a sense, present in the English landscape, even in the language (in its unadulterated form, found only in the totally uneducated and those educated in the truest sense, meaning they are repugnant to the academy), and in our myths.

Tolkien had a close connection to these gods, and through long association his works and most likely body and personality bore something thereof. It does not surprise me, then, that Susan Cooper (whose Dark is Rising books are on a par with LoTR) studied under the man. This is a lineage which Soros et al. cannot extirpate easily – it would require Soviet-levels of control; and since the modern devils think in very materialistic terms, they are unlikely to move against what they would see as irrelevant “juvenile trash” (Edmund Wilson’s judgement on Tolkien). But if a fire one day rises from the ash, it will be of a secret kindling.

5. My long weekend in Kassel was good. i did little save drink gin and read and talk to Juniper. She is decidedly unmodern. She was partly raised by her grandfather, on a farm outside Kassel, with dogs and cats. Her grandfather served on the Eastern Front, as a looker-after of horses, and i guess as a farmer was far removed from modernity. Juniper gifted me two of his pipes, which i smoke from time to time.

junipers-grandfather

As Nietzsche said of reading Goethe, that it did good to breathe this air, so it does me good to be with people from the old world – being with Juniper is like breathing fresh air again, because she is part of her grandfather’s world, and he was part of the 19th Century.

Juniper’s sensibilities are so. i have often noticed that animals are drawn to her – they mostly just ignore me – i think because while i have all kinds of odd noise in my head, she has nothing of the 21st or even 20th Century in her. And that absence itself is a noble and remarkable thing, a kind of wizardry if you like. So, after Faramir resists the temptation of the Ring:

‘Ah well, sir,’ said Sam, ‘you said my master had an elvish air; and that was good and true. But I can say this: you have an air too, sir, that reminds me of, of – well, Gandalf, of wizards.’

‘Maybe,’ said Faramir. ‘Maybe you discern from far away the air of Númenor.’

1. i just read Varg Vikernes’ Sorcery & Religion in Ancient Scandinavia, a good & interesting read. As far as i can tell, he believes the old gods don’t exist, and are just names people gave natural forces: “built like all religions are on ignorance and delusions” (p 120). In this sense, Thor would be like gravity, a name we give to a phenomenon, a pattern of observable force.

It could be that if every single human being ceased to exist, the gods would too, but such a world would not concern me; and there are even older gods still wandering around, long after anyone worshipped them.

The comfortingly sane and sanitized view would be that the human subconscious produces certain archetypes, including gods, and these are merely aspects of our own collective mind. My own view is a little different: – we could be seen as aspects of the gods, or vice versa, or both us & the gods are merely manifestations of the universe. In any case, to consciously regard the gods as merely convenient illusions would be to limit the possibilities of revelation and concourse.

2. i finished watching Game of Thrones, impressed. i’ve read various Christian accounts of the show/books, lambasting it for nihilism etc., but these seem very superficial judgements. Modern Christians enjoy living in a bubble of middle class niceness & propriety, where everyone reads CS Lewis and pays his taxes on time. i found the first book tedious but the show is a different beast. i note that a type of Thor appears – the so-called Hound, a scarred killer:

sandor-the-hound-clegane-game-of-thrones-18215186-1280-720

He has a monstrous brother and is something of a monster himself; like Thor, the giant slayer who is himself giant, a ferocious gobbler of food and quaffer of ales:

This summer, apropos the migrant rape horde, the Man in Black told me: “If the old gods are connected to the land and the European peoples, then they might have something to say about it.” i don’t know of any life where i was given to the Germanic gods – though to a cousin-god from an older pantheon – and am genetically only half-European, so if the Old One could reach into my mind back in 2008 (fittingly, after re-reading Tolkien for the first time since my 2001 dissertation), i suppose others could follow.

3. On the subject of Tolkien, i came across a fragment of his, The New Shadow, very close to a story i was toying with this time last year, set 3 generations after the War of the Ring – in my idea, the peoples of the West have become soft and effeminate and are welcoming orcs into their lands, firstly to do the jobs they are too soft for, and then because they hate their own culture, and regard Aragorn, Gandalf et al. as terrible racists and barbarian who we should all be ashamed of, and orcs are so wonderful and exotic and we should have more of them around, and there’s such a nice little orc restaurant just around the corner in an ethnic neighbourhood, where they all speak orcish, such a romantic, exotic language, and little Tristan’s nanny is an orc, such a hard worker, she cleans the toilets and everything!

The Tolkien tale is on similar lines. An old man, Borlas, talks with a younger, Saelon. Borlas is youngest son of a minor character in The Return of the King, many decades before. Saelon is a faintly sinister young man who seems involved in “secret societies practising dark cults, and ‘orc-cults’ among adolescents” (Tolkien’s brief introduction).

Saelon invites Borlas to join him:

‘I warn you rather to clothe yourself warmly after nightfall,’ he said. ‘That is, if you wish to learn more; for if you do, you will come with me on a journey tonight. I will meet you at your eastern gate behind your house; or at least I shall pass that way as soon as it is full dark, and you shall come or not as you will. I shall be clad in black, and anyone who goes with me must be clad alike.

and then departs. Borlas wonders alone:

why invite me to go with him? Not to convert old Borlas! Useless. Useless to try: no one would hope to win over a man who remembered the Evil of old, however far off.

Tolkien was realistic about human nature, and regarded Sauron as merely one concentration of evil, in a fallen world. There seems a natural life cycle of cultures, so one has, for example, Athens and the other Greek states rallying (more or less) together against the Muslim Persia between about 492 and 479 BC, glorious glorious, and then you have Sparta and Athens ripping Greece apart in the Peloponnesian War starting 431 BC. A young soldier at Plataea would have been in his late 60s when Greece destroyed itself – so, two generations, more or less. The memories fade and unless carefully preserved, in art, in literature, all our ancestors fought for is cast aside as of no value, much as the Viking immediately smashes and burns anything he is given, or just throws it into a ditch or leaves it on a bus or in a homosexual brothel church.

i was born a generation (almost exactly) after my closest last life, and so by the time i was a man i was already in an alien world, a world that despised everything held good before my last death. However, i remember “the evil of old”, and am undeceived by the new.

4. The Left triumphed long ago, but because their self-identity is of permanent revolution, and because so many Feminist Diversity Outreach Professors would lose their jobs if they admitted they have won, it is necessary to fabricate new atrocities: so Halloween dog costumes are sexist, and so on. i note that the Left seems to have swung so far into spiritual evil that a fair number of feminists, SJWs, etc., are clearly insane. Of the three Borderline people i know (all women), two are open borders, globalist, EU, Social Justice Warrior types, the third being almost mentally retarded and so, luckily, uninterested in anything except food. Every rabid Leftie i know seems to have a childhood of physical and sometimes sexual abuse, which has filled them with permanent hatred for their culture and origins.

In the past, such people would be recognised as insane or at least highly damaged individuals. Any European who hates European culture, and even their own genetic inheritance, is hardly likely to be capable of clear and objective thought on the matter, because they hate that from which they came. They should leave Europe and go live in Pakistan or Liberia, where they can be raped to death by sand peoples happy among the authentic poor.

At least someone like Thomas Bernhard (father apparently a rapist who died in WW2, mother naturally seems to have hated the child) formed a connection with his grandfather, and rooted himself in a 19th Century Europe. But the modern Left would happily destroy everything of Europe, because they are spiritually as well as clinically insane. Bernhard was half-mad, but only half.

i predicted Trump had a good chance of winning the election several months ago, and everyone thought i was letting my contrarian disposition get the better of me. But i think he is part of a trend – not so much to “the Right” as to normalcy; and although he looks like a radioactive wild boar, his vices and crimes are thoroughly ordinary. Bill Clinton allegedly raped dozens of women, and liked to bite their faces till they bled; Trump on his own admission likes to grab women by the pussy, and they let him do it because he’s so damn Trump. They probably lined up to be groped by that wild boar.

If the Presidential candidates were films, Trump would be Porky’s; Clinton’s would be Ghostbusters 2016.

Well, you’d have to add elements of Wall Street to Trump’s, and if you look deeper Clinton’s film would be a paedophile snuff movie, but at least on the surface you can probably divide many of their supporters into those who would rather watch Porky’s or Ghostbusters 2016.

5. Discussing all this with an East German student, i said that no matter how rich the enemy may be, even George Soros can’t control a world where the culture changes against him and his ilk. The student, a typical German atheist, adduced as example that he insisted his daughter be baptised Catholic – because now our culture is clearly threatened, not merely from within by the Left, but from without by literally millions of military-age 3rd World rapists, that which formed European culture becomes valuable.

i think there will be, increasingly, spontaneous turnings away from the modern insanity, probably the men first, since women tend to either be hobbits (believing everyone is nice and friendly and we don’t need borders or police), or rabid shrieking Feminists, but it will happen, and i will live through the change. i don’t predict a return to capitalism, nor to some kind of fascism, but rather some new form will emerge – probably be rather a bloody affair, but then that has always been the way of things.

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